Productive Parenting

Mom Feature: Meet Nicole

2012-01-25T10:33:00.000-05:00

Meet Nicole

I'm a new member of the Mommy Mafia; my little boy, PJ, just turned six months old in January. As such, this is a period of such fundamental change (cue knowing chuckle here from the experienced mom crowd) that I have a hard time describing myself these days.

What I definitely am is an American living, working, and mothering in Germany. I'm happily married to a wonderful man. I love words: speaking them, reading them (book tips extremely welcome in the comments!), and writing them - especially at my blog Pickles and Onions.

I have a corporate job that I will return to in just three months, which shocks me when I think about it because before PJ arrived I thought "Nine whole months off the job? How will I manage away from work?"

And now I know, "Only nine months off the job?! How will I manage away from my baby?!"

Cue knowing chuckle and nodding heads from the experienced mom crowd.

Oh, and I really like to laugh at myself. Often and loud.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
When I follow my intuition. Pre-mommyhood, I had no idea how clear and strong my intuition would become. I really struggled the first ten weeks of PJ's life and it was mostly because having a baby is a huge change and I spent too much time listening to "experts" and not to myself.

Now I see that my little boy is so happy and courageous and adventurous, and I know that I'm the PJ expert. When I look at him I am usually warmed by how lucky I am and at what a good job I'm doing. I don't buy into the mommy wars - like most mommies - and I'm surrounded by people who encourage and support me.

I also have a little note hanging on my bathroom mirror that says "You are an awesome mom!" I believe that note.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
I require a lot of sleep. As a child I had "crash days": days when I come home from school, voluntarily climbed into my bed and didn't wake up until the next day. In college I never pulled an all nighter; sleep was too important.

So it comes as no surprise that my worst moments are in the middle of the night when PJ has nursed and can't get back to sleep. I'm exhausted, starting to lose my temper - "why can't you sleep?!" running through my head and, sadly, sometimes out of my mouth - and I walk to my sleeping husband and say "please, please help" or (far more often) bark "your turn!"

He, without fail, rolls out of bed and then walks, rocks, sings, our little boy back into dreamland. Calmly. In the middle of the night. Wow.

I am lucky and thankful that my husband is darn near his best when I am at my worst.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
What didn't surprise me? I had no idea what mothering was really like. This little guy is here to stay. Forever. Even on Sunday mornings. Actually, especially on Sunday mornings. I didn't grasp that concept at all.

I also didn't realize just how confusing motherhood would be; how overwhelming all the voices from experts, family members and friends were going to be; how difficult and time consuming establishing a breastfeeding relationship would be; how much my marriage would change; how much I was going to need my mommy and my sister; how quickly my circle of friends would be altered; how hard being without my little man would be at first; and how strong and clear my intuition would become.

You can follow Nicole and her family at her blog: http://pickles-and-onions.blogspot.com/

What is Your Child's Favorite Book?

2012-01-20T06:00:00.000-05:00

We're compiling the ultimate book list for parents.

Send us your favorite titles, and we'll enter you in a drawing to win a new book to add to your collection.

You can leave a comment on this post, or email us at susan@productiveparenting.com.

What to Do Wednesday: Search for Stickers

2012-01-18T13:51:00.002-05:00

Looking for something to do with your kids today?

Search for Stickers

Target Age: Late Two-Year (but fun for older kids too)

Materials You Will Need: Colorful stickers

What To Do: Children love the excitement of a hunt. Place colorful stickers on various items around the house: furniture, toys, floor, walls, shoes, etc.

Give your child hints, using 'hot' or 'cold' when getting close to the sticker.

Have your child stick the stickers to his/her shirt as the stickers are found.

Skills Learned:
Tactile Stimulation
Visual Discrimination

Visit Productive Parenting for more great activities!

A Few Things I've Learned Since Becoming a Mom

2012-01-04T13:00:00.000-05:00

It's funny how much my thoughts on motherhood have changed in the four years since I became one.

With my first child, I wanted everything done just so. I had Pottery Barn Perfect images in my head of the perfect nursery, the perfect baby clothes, stroller, life...

Image courtesy of Pottery Barn Kids.

I tracked every pee, poop, bottle and nap for weeks - maybe even months. I hovered when anyone else held my baby, and felt like a piece of me was missing when I was away from him.

And then something happened between baby number 1 and 2. And a lot happened between baby number 2 and 3.

Whether it was the lack of sleep or the lack of time or the utter lack of energy - I stopped trying so hard.

I realized that my kids continue to eat, pee and poop whether I track it or not. I figured out (very quickly) that Pottery Barn perfect doesn't exist - at least not in my house.

I realized that it's a lot easier - and a lot more fun - to let my kids get messy and make messes.

You may see a huge mess. My kids see a bustling recycling center that will take the work of many dump trucks to get sorted and recycled.

I can see how me hovering doesn't help them learn or become independent.

I found out that rainbow-colored playdoh is way more fun that trying to keep each color in its own separate container.

I realized how much fun it is to be a mom.

How have you changed since you've become a mom? What have you learned?

Five New Year's Activities You Can Do with Your Kids

2011-12-29T10:24:00.000-05:00

Conduct a New Year's interview with your child to create a fun keepsake.
Visit Blissfully Domestic for the full how-to.

Create a fun countdown clock - and you could even use it throughout the year.
Visit Kaboose for more details.

It wouldn't be New Year's Eve without fun party hats - made by you and your kids, of course. Martha Stewart shares the how-to.

Make it a family affair. Create countdown bags - with a family activity to do each hour until midnight.
Amy from the Idea Room shares her countdown bags here.

Teach your child about the tradition of creating resolutions - and encourage them to make their own. Make it even more fun with a decorated self portrait.
Visit My First Grade Backpack for more info.

Happy New Year!

Holiday Traditions: Christmas in Australia

2011-12-23T06:00:00.001-05:00

By Sylvia (a member of Productive Parenting)

I arrived in Australia when I was 5 years old, after defecting from Poland. We brought our traditions with us and not much else. We did many things differently from the Aussies, especially our food and our customs....30 years later I married an Australian man from the country, and now I really appreciate the cultural differences.

We finally arrive at our Christmas holiday destination, a campsite which is midway between Sydney and Brisbane on the coast after a six hour drive from Sydney with a 2.5 year old in the back seat.

My husband's mother's side of the family have been gathering at this exact spot for 70 plus years to celebrate Christmas together. I think my 75 year old mother-in-law missed only one such Christmas as she gave birth to her eldest on Christmas Day.

We spend all day at the caravan park unpacking and checking which other relatives or “regulars” have arrived. Helena is beside herself with excitement squealing with delight as she notices the water's edge is 100 metres from our campsite. When her grandparents arrive with the caravan in tow, she is overwhelmed as she hasn’t seen them for 11 months.

Christmas on the coast in December is hot, humid and sunburnt so we spend our days on the beach chasing kids with sunscreen in hand, teaching them about surfing, fishing, worms, pipis, sand castles, native birds, swimming between the flags and why it’s not great to throw sand.

In the evenings, we might get to have "tea" on the headland. Translated, this means a dinner of cold takeaway fish and chips with extended family on top of a cliff with the seagulls (nowadays we make our own version, but I can save that for another time).

When Christmas Day arrives - all the children wake extra early to wake you and then rip open their presents. We have a small breakfast then head to the beach to discuss the contents of the presents. We all pile into someone's house or campsite for Christmas lunch where everyone brings "a plate" to share, including; prawns, vegetable and fruit salads (sadly, this once included a celery, mayonnaise and walnut salad), cold roast chicken, hams and beer in stubbie holders. We end up eating too much Christmas pudding and we return to our campsites and caravans to sleep it off (except for the kids who are still running around on sugar highs with their new toys).

On Boxing Day morning the caravan park fills to overflowing with people from all over the State. For most of them, this is their big holiday for the year so they arrive with boats and esky’s full of beer and sausages. Happy hour starts unreasonable early and goes until there is no one left to tell tall stories to. Music blares all day and night and queues form each morning and night at the amenities block.

This is our cue to leave, so we tear our daughter away from her new friends, kiss the relatives goodbye and hop in the car to enjoy the six hour journey home.

What are YOUR holiday traditions?

Sylvia is a member of Productive Parenting and lives in Australia with her husband, and her 2 1/2 year-old daughter, Helena.

Mom Feature: Meet Kathryn

2011-12-21T10:10:00.001-05:00

Meet Kathryn

I like lovely things. I have spent my career surrounded by art, artists, and words – all of which I adore. I also like lovely people. I am lucky to be surrounded by them too.

Obviously from my posts here and on my blog, I also like books. I really would like to go with the theme and say I like lovely books, but the truth is: I like ALL books. Depressing books, slow books, fast books, short books and fat books – I love them all.

Our little family is complicated to describe. I have lived in two countries and nine states. My husband is originally from Kenya. Most of our friends are from somewhere else. We’re multi-racial, multi-faith, multi-faceted in every way, but oddly my husband thinks more like me than anyone else I’ve ever met. I feel extremely grateful for that, as I realized at some point that this business of building a family really requires a strong union, a lot of communication, and a bit of mind-reading.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
When my daughter and I are really connected and we are both really in the moment, then I’m doing a good job. Sometimes it’s sharing a laugh, sometimes it’s dancing around the house, sometimes it’s discussing a boundary, and sometimes it’s a simple, intertwined nap together on the sofa.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
The time when I struggle the most is when I am tired and frustrated. I’m not a yeller, but I hate when my daughter ends up feeling like she’s disappointed me, especially if I later realize that it’s really me that had the problem.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
Motherhood was a complete shock to me. I had a massive babysitting empire as a teenager, so I thought I knew what to expect. I had patented ways to calm children, I had theories, I had experience. My husband is from a large family, so he had tons of experience too.

But all that was completely naïve. I had NO idea how all-consuming it would be when it is your own child. We don’t have much family nearby, so it was (and continues to be) a struggle to get the help that we need.

Related, I have learned I was incredibly judgmental about other parents. I have come to realize that there are a million ways to raise wonderful children. I have chosen the path that seems right for our circumstances and my child, but I don’t pretend to know what is right for someone else. (And I had a few apologies to make to friends and family about know-it-all, unsolicited advice that I gave before I knew any better.)

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way?
Well, when I am feeling a meltdown coming on, I find a nice, cold glass of water can really turn me around. My daughter is fairly even tempered, so if she is entering meltdown territory then I have pushed her patience way too far.

Stopping to listen to what she is saying, removing her from whatever situation she is resisting, and adjusting my expectations are vital. She responds best to positive things, so a song, a snuggle, or a small snack will most often solve the problem.

What have your daughter taught you?
Something magical happened to me in this process. Many of my insecurities fell away. I feel more beautiful, I feel more worthy, probably because I feel more loved. Our children love us with a voracity that I have found impossible to ignore.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
I’m going to miss feeling tall! My husband and his family are all quite tall, my daughter takes after him, so I’m afraid the sweet way she turns her head up to me and stares at me with her deep, soulful eyes are short-lived.

I really doubted I would ever have this opportunity, to be the mother to a wonderful, sweet, healthy baby. I just want to savor this time and not worry too much about what is to come. I could not have planned my life to be this rich and interesting, so I am committed to letting it unfold, in all its complexity, as it will.

Anything else?
I really love positive, constructive dialogue, so I hope people will be encouraged to comment on what I write. I have learned so much from other mothers, so I hope readers will have some things to say, some questions, or something to share.

You can follow Kathryn on her blog: http://www.readingbaby.blogspot.com/

5 Reasons Why CPR Training is Important for Sitters

2011-12-19T20:56:00.001-05:00

You may think that CPR training is not important for a babysitter, who is only going to be taking care of kids for a few hours at a time. This is far from the truth.

CPR training is very important for babysitters to have, no matter how infrequent their babysitting jobs and how short the time is that they are in care of the children.

Here are five reasons why.

#1 Caregiver – Any caregiver needs to know CPR.
Being a caregiver means that you are the person responsible for the well-being of those you care for. In the case of a babysitter, you are responsible for the care and well-being of other people’s children. This is a very weighty responsibility and should be entered into with training that will cover as many different scenarios as possible.

#2 Kids get into trouble.
Kids do not fully understand all the dangers around them and seem to manage to find ways to get themselves into dangerous situations, no matter how hard you try to keep them safe. They find their way to water, which could drown them. They swallow things that can make them choke. They ingest things that can be harmful to them. They wrap things around their necks, put bags over their heads and shut themselves in small spaces.

When a babysitter has more than one child in her care, at one time, it is especially easy to lose track of the most adventurous one. Even with just one, it is amazing how fast they can disappear, when you turn your back.

#3 Emergencies cannot be predicted.
To think that ‘nothing’ is going to happen in the few short hours that a babysitter is caring for children is naïve. Although, the risk may be lowered, it still remains. Emergency situations can happen at any time. They only take moments to develop; they cannot be predicted.

#4 Time is of the essence.
When a person has stopped breathing and/or their heart is no longer beating, you cannot wait for someone else to arrive; CPR needs to be started immediately. The longer a person’s brain is deprived of oxygen, the lower their chances of being revived and recovering.

If a child should require CPR, while in a babysitter’s care, the babysitter is most likely the one who will need to provide it.

#5 The only ‘adult’ in the house.
The children are not the only ones, whom a babysitter may need to administer CPR to. Unexpected situations can arise where a babysitter may find themselves giving CPR to a parent, prior to or upon returning to the home. In other cases, it may be a neighbor who is in need of emergency assistance.

CPR training is important general knowledge for everyone once they reach their teenage years and beyond. Emergency situations can arise at any time and in any place. You never know when you will be the only one available to administer CPR.

Read more posts like these (including 10 Tips for getting your kids to pick up their toys) at http://www.babysitters.net/blog/

Producing Productive Progeny: Part 2, Toddlers and Preschoolers

2011-12-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

Producing Productive Progeny:
Or how to make your child a brilliant and talented artist in an arts vacuum.

PART TWO: Toddlers and Preschoolers
Busy bodies, expanding brains

You’ve already seen how you can expose the smallest minds to art, but what about when they are starting to show an interest in new activities? Around 18 months, your child may start to show interest in pens and pencils when you are writing, they may be interested in the bigger kids crayons at your nephew’s birthday party, and they may start to sit up and take notice of the things in their world.

Time to seize the opportunity and get them thinking creatively!

Toddlers and Preschoolers: Most parents have a moment of hesitation before taking their spirited toddlers out into public places. That whisper of hesitation turns more like a deafening cacophony of voices screaming “Don’t Do It!” when they think of taking their child to a museum.

Precarious emotions, sticky fingers, and loud voices do not mesh well with the peaceful, sanctuary-like atmosphere of the modern museum. Sure, almost every city has a children’s museum, but there are other options too.

Viewing Art: Visit sculpture gardens, arboretums, and outdoor murals. Point out interesting architecture. Begin to read them the object labels and point out shapes, themes, and materials to them. You’ll be shocked at how much they can retain.

Art History: There are several good children’s books that talk about art, art museums and creating art. Start to read them to your children. Some of them are even board books.

We have one called Magritte’s Imagination. There is a great Babar book called Babar’s Museum of Art that explains what museums are and why they are important. And there is a great book called Ish that talks about being a confident artist, even as a child. In your trips to the art book section of the library, try looking at some Photography books. They may find it fun to identify details in a photograph.

Doing Art: Welcome to the world of discovery! Toddlers and preschoolers will love every kind of medium you put in front of them. I personally think that properly supervised children can try any kind of non-toxic medium. My toddler loves pencils, pens, crayons, and sidewalk chalk. Each of these is available for under $1.

Now is not the time to invest in expensive paints. Get the cheapest paints and watercolors, make sure they are non-toxic and invest your extra money in a good smock.

Note for those that are concerned with keeping things in your home looking nice, maybe make your first painting attempts in an easy to clean place like the bathroom or kitchen. The most important developmental aspect of these art lessons is experimentation, but that takes a lot of parental patience and a fair dose of clean up!

Kathryn Ombam is a writer, editor, and career counselor whose specialty is in business and academic writing. She has most extensively worked with artists and designers.

Her bibliophile status and her editing work were her primary writing outlet until inspiration hit in the form of a writing contest in 2006. Her current efforts can be attributed to a fiction writing group, her blogs, and her ongoing desire to comment on her life.

Ms. Ombam’s first published work of fiction will be published in an upcoming short story anthology. She also writes a children’s book review blog: http://readingbaby.blogspot.com

Want to add to the conversation? Click here to learn how to become a contributor to the Productive Parenting blog.

Mom Feature: Meet Laura

2011-12-13T20:44:00.001-05:00

Meet Laura

I’m a Christian, a wife, a mother to our beautiful daughter Lyla and very sassy yorkie Max. I love to write and started a blog called WholeGreenLove with a close friend of mine last year. We are passionate about wellness, cooking from scratch, trying fun DIY projects, and eco-friendly options/products. I enjoy spending my time in the kitchen, being active, and making our home as perfect as possible for my family.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
I’m most surprised about how when I think I absolutely cannot love my baby girl any more, I do. I feel more and more love for Lyla with every day that passes. It’s so amazing! I’m also surprised about how incredibly protective I’ve become of our family time together. Finding alone time for me as a mom and wife is still important, but spending time with Lyla and Nic is absolutely top priority now. I get a little crazy when something gets in the way of that precious time!

What do you think prepared you the most for becoming a mom?
Ah! Nothing can prepare you like the real thing can! You leave the hospital thinking, “Wow, they are really letting us leave here to take care of this new little life all by ourselves? They’re crazy.” You really just figure it out, moment by moment. Reading all of the “right” books can only get you so far and people are totally right when they say to “follow your instincts”. It’s so true that you know your baby best and nothing can take the place of that feeling.

What is your "typical" day like these days?
I’m adjusting to being back at work after 12 wonderful weeks of maternity leave. While the time spent away from her is so hard, my husband’s paternity leave started when my leave ended, which has been awesome! I love that he is getting his bonding time with Lyla and developing his own routine with her. When I get home from work it’s time for talking, reading, and cuddling with Lyla. When she’s gone down to sleep for the night, it’s time for me to be with Nic, get a workout in, and catch up on our blog.

What are you looking forward to the most as your baby grows up?
It’s so amazing to me how much Lyla grows and changes each day. Being able to interact with her more and more is so exciting and feels so rewarding. I heard her laugh for the first time recently and it was the most beautiful sound in the world. I can’t wait see her develop into a little person with dreams, interests, and a personality all her own.

What will you miss the most about these baby years?
I will definitely miss the non-stop cuddle time the most. I love that Lyla genuinely needs me right now. When it feels like my To Do List is a mile long and the dust bunnies are invading our floors, I remind myself that I only have this limited amount of time when she will want to be held and kissed non-stop.

You can follow Laura at her blog: www.wholegreenlove.com

Advice for New Moms, From a New Mom

2011-12-07T11:05:00.001-05:00

By Elizabeth Rodgers

Closing the bathroom door I thought... okay two minutes to myself, maybe three if I let the water run extra long. You’re supposed to wash your hands thoroughly when handling a baby right? My husband was soon at the door with our inconsolable infant informing me that I was taking an awfully long time and that, “Mommy should hurry up.”

It was three days after bringing my first son home, and the reality was setting in... there was going to be a baby around my house twenty-four hours a day for quite some time. The TV shows and books like to talk all about the difficulty of bringing home a baby; the sleepless nights, diaper changes, feeding schedule.

Nobody warned me that my sense of self would be forever changed. And although I love my little boy more than words can say, those first two weeks were a couple of the hardest of my life.

Two weeks after giving birth I was still quite in a culture shock. Did I really want to take a year off and watch this little person all day? What in the heck were we going to do besides look at each other? Now four months later I can honestly say that I am happier than I have been my entire life.

A few tidbits that I wish someone had told me before baby:

Give yourself a month. The first month will be bad. Yes, you will love this new little bundle but you will also be sleep deprived and walking on pins and needles to keep the baby happy. It won’t be this crazy forever.

Walk. Buy long distance trail walking shoes and walk everyday. Bundle the baby up if you must and go every day. (I have been known to take three regular walks a day.)

Find other babies. There are other people out there just like you, but you won’t find them locked in your house. Join a mother’s group (I joined three just to be sure I had plenty to do.) Visit the local library and check out baby programs.

Get a calendar, and write down your plans. It gives your day purpose and organization. I have found that one planned activity a day with a four month old is plenty.

Elizabeth Rodgers has a degree in elementary and special education and has a reading specialist certification. She taught second grade until deciding to be home with her son. Her little boy is now five months old, and she's enjoying spending her days watching him learn and play.

Want to add to the conversation? Click here to learn how to become a contributor to the Productive Parenting blog.

Producing Productive Progeny, Part One: Infants

2011-12-05T09:28:00.001-05:00

Producing Productive Progeny:
Or how to make your child a brilliant and talented artist in an arts vacuum.

By Kathryn Margaret Evans Ombam

In a three-part series, I'll be sharing creative, low-cost, or free approaches to teaching your children about the arts and encouraging confidence in their own artistic pursuits. Part one focuses on infants (up to 15 months), part two is for toddlers and preschoolers and part three focuses on school-age children.

PART ONE: INFANTS – birth to 15 months

Infants: I can see parents of infants rolling their eyes at me. Do we really need to make an effort to expose them to art before they are school-aged?

While infants don’t yet know how to read or do differential equations, they are rapidly developing an interest in shapes, colors, and lines. Introducing them to art of all kinds can help stimulate this brain development and increase the likelihood that they, and you, will take an interest in the arts later.

Viewing Art: Go to your local community arts center. Babies will not yet have developed an aversion to what art historians call “hobbyists” so you can just enjoy showing them cats, birds, sunsets, and pottery without any hesitation.

Image Credit

Art History: If you do not have one already, get a library card. Take them to the infant story times, but also take them to the art books.

My baby had an early love affair with Matisse – she loved his paper cut-outs in books and was fascinated with the large mural at the Barnes Foundation. Everything from Van Gogh’s big colorful sunflowers to the serene colors of Mark Rothko can be inspirational to your child.

Doing Art: Consider the beautiful, jerky dance of your newborn or the giggle-fest of your older baby as performance art. Don’t try to prop your baby up and shove a crayon in its hand just yet. Wait until they show interest on their own.

Kathryn Ombam is a writer, editor, and career counselor whose specialty is in business and academic writing. She has most extensively worked with artists and designers.

Her bibliophile status and her editing work were her primary writing outlet until inspiration hit in the form of a writing contest in 2006. Her current efforts can be attributed to a fiction writing group, her blogs, and her ongoing desire to comment on her life.

Ms. Ombam’s first published work of fiction will be published in an upcoming short story anthology. She also writes a children’s book review blog: http://readingbaby.blogspot.com

Want to add to the conversation? Click here to learn how to become a contributor to the Productive Parenting blog.

Mom Feature: Meet Morgan

2011-11-29T21:34:00.001-05:00

Meet Morgan

I'm a 20-something mother of two and just quit my office job to be a full time stay at home mom. When I'm not wrestling with my kids, you can find me rambling on my blog, MrsPriss.com or partaking in some sort of crafty shenanigans. I like to think those things keep me sane, but let's be real here. I'm just all sorts of nuts.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I'd have to say I'm my best when I have a full night's rest. There's something about getting 4 hours of sleep that just turns me into crazy Hulk where I want to smash things and it's never pretty. Mamas need rest, even if it means giving up a few hours worth of DVR'd vampire shows... MUCH easier said than done (Helloooo Salvatore brothers).

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
Hands down, when I'm around my mom. My kids always seem to act up when the grandparents are around, which is never fun because I want to be able to show my mom skills off and be all, "See? I'm good at this and am not losing my mind at all!" But yeah, that never happens. Whenever I'm stressed about my kids acting up, my mom manages to calm them down with a wave of her hand while I'm in the corner, rocking back and forth in the fetal position. She's so calm and sane! I want that someday.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
How rewarding it is. I joke a lot about how much work being a mother can be, which is true, but there are just so many more cuddly, sweet moments that make up for the not so fun ones. And I swear, the first time my daughter told me she loved me ON HER OWN, I melted into a gooey puddle of happiness. There's absolutely nothing like it.

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
A bubble bath and 'sleepy milk'... which is basically warm milk with a pinch of sugar, but my daughter thinks it's a magical potion that makes her tired. Works every time.

What have your children taught you?
That I can go all day with no makeup and messy hair and still be adored. That my life doesn't revolve around me... and I'm completely okay with it. That kid movies are actually pretty entertaining. And, pardon the copious amounts of cheese here, but sometimes the best way to solve a problem is with a big squishy hug.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
I'm going to miss all the time I get to spend with them. Staying home has been the best experience and I'm going to be quite sad when it ends.

You can follow Morgan and her family on her blog: MrsPriss.com

Building a love of reading, writing, and speaking through play

2011-11-28T21:57:00.001-05:00

By Kathryn Ombam

I come from a long line of people that adore the written word. Coupled with that love is a reverence for reading that is legendary. I don’t think that is unusual; bibliophiles tend to have respect for all aspects of the craft of creating their beloved books: language, writing, the process of reading, reading about writing, even reading about reading – all typical behavior. What makes my family unusual is that they believe that a healthy dose of whimsy can richen your relationship with language. It’s not all thick novels and reference books, sometimes you need a good limerick, a funny poem, or a humorist’s take on daily life.

When it comes to kids, there are so many ways to encourage a light-hearted fondness for books and language. Everyone knows that a child’s best literary friend is onomatopoeia – or words that imitate the sounds that they describe. In our house, since we have several languages in play, we have a bit of fun with the way different languages describe different animal sounds. Sometimes we are reading about a rooster and they say “Cock-a-doodle doo” and sometimes that same gentle fowl will be saying “Coo-coo-ree-cooooooo.” I must admit that I have never met a rooster personally, so I hardly know which he would actually prefer.

But by far my favorite way to play with language is to actually create language. Every family has shorthand and inside jokes that richen their communication, but we also love to create fun and interesting words or phrases to describe our lives in a more demonstrative way. For example, I was in college before I realized that “lumpshy” was not an actual word. Part-nickname, part-adjective, my father invented this word for my mother. It perfectly describes the kind of languid comfort you can find lounging next to her, especially when you happen to be snuggling up, each with a book in hand.

We love to use language to convey our excitement or as a way to diffuse our distress, our daughter quotes her children’s books in such a way even at the tender age of 19 months. What better way to describe separation anxiety than in the words of Trixie, the young protagonist from Mo Willem’s Knuffle Bunny series; “Aggle Flaggle Klabble!!!” my daughter will shriek, conveying that horrifying moment when your parent has forgotten something important and you are stranded with an incomplete vocabulary, struggling to be understood.

A recent cold served as the inspiration for our most recent word play. Parents will understand exactly the suffering we endured as a family if I list these three phrases: 1) Cutting two canines (eye teeth) combined with 2) super- virus, AND 3) a series of vaccinations, all in the same week. To deal with the mutual torment of the situation, we coined this phrase: Achoo Tissue Machu Picchu. For my husband and I, the juxtaposition of the silly with the mention of a sacred wonder of the Incan world is enough, but combined with the sing-songy quality of a toddler voice, it’s enough to provide a little extra patience when things become trying. For the toddler, it can provide a mantra and a distraction that makes another annoying nose wipe tolerable.

In the spirit of Achoo, Tissue, Machu Picchu, I implore you to go forth and create words! Create songs! Create joy!

And for some good books that include animal sounds, try these books:

For babies and toddlers:
What Do You Say? By Mandy Stanley

Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? By Dr. Seuss

Moo, Baa, La La La. By Sandra Boynton

For school aged children:
Where the Sidewalk Ends. By Shel Silverstein

The Tale of Custard the Dragon. By Ogden Nash

Rain Talk. By Mary Serfozo

Kathryn Ombam is a writer, editor, and career counselor whose specialty is in business and academic writing. She has most extensively worked with artists and designers.

Her bibliophile status and her editing work were her primary writing outlet until inspiration hit in the form of a writing contest in 2006. Her current efforts can be attributed to a fiction writing group, her blogs, and her ongoing desire to comment on her life.

Ms. Ombam’s first published work of fiction will be published in an upcoming short story anthology. She also writes a children’s book review blog: http://readingbaby.blogspot.com

Want to add to the conversation? Click here to learn how to become a contributor to the Productive Parenting blog.

Thankfulness Chain

2011-11-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

Image courtesy of Journeying Through Life at 7000 Feet.

Take a break from your holiday preparations this week to do an activity straight from our activity library!

Thankfulness Chain

Teach your child how to be "Thankful" with this fun activity!

Cut rectangular pieces of colorful construction paper. Place the paper along with crayons and clear tape on the kitchen table.

Encourage your child to make a 'Thankfulness Chain' by coloring a picture of something they are thankful for on each of the paper strips. You can help your child write the 'thankful' word if interested. Each day at mealtime, encourage your child to add to the chain and enjoy watching it grow!

While this activity is recommended for children with a developmental age of at least four years, you can work together as a family at any age.

Read more about this activity in our activity library.

An Epiphany at Target

2011-11-18T04:00:00.000-05:00

By Beth Demis

I wanted to share the simplest epiphany I had yesterday. I took the boys on a long walk first thing in the morning... it was mostly for myself because I have been trying so hard to fit exercise in and have been failing- I was determined to start my day with some exercise and hopefully a clear head.

As I walked, I had a million thoughts running through my head... mostly all I wanted to accomplish and how would I have time to get it all done- as I think about most days. My list usually includes the same items: cleaning of most every room in my house, laundry, grocery store, play with the kids, do something fun or creative with the little boys, get my PTA duties completed, shower (the luxuries), and on and on....

So, where did I start my list after this long, mind-clearing walk? Target, of course! A brand spanking new one- with a grocery store. And a Starbucks (imagine heavenly music filling my head as I strap my two boys into the cart)...oh yeah, and I had 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old boys with me. sigh...

They started the usual routine- asking for snacks, wanting to look at toys, wanting to get out. I had about five items on my "must buy" list (yeah right...when's the last time you ONLY bought five items at Target? Yeah, me neither!) and so my goal was to rush through the store and get out of there as fast as I could to save my sanity and the sanity of fellow shoppers... I mean, I had a list of things to do a mile long, after all.

But...here was my epiphany....as simple as it may sound.

I slowed down.

I talked to my kids about everything we saw.

I didn't just "um hm" their discoveries, I paid attention to them and responded and asked questions...and let them touch things (not very many things) and when they started begging for toys, instead of the guilty conscience I usually have (I shouldn't spend the money, buying them something for no reason will make them greedy or expect it each time we come, they haven't "earned a toy" ) I let them each get something.

We looked at all of the Halloween costumes, tried on different winter hats ( I deep-breathed through my lice and bed bug phobia and just got over it).

We lived in our Target moment.

No one cried, no one required a lollipop diversion, I wasn't digging through my purse for bribes...sure, they each got a new toy (oh and a slush puppie at the end!) but nobody's perfect . It's so cliche' but for a full hour and 20 minutes.... I didn't sweat the small stuff...and as a result, neither did they.

And it was awesome.

My mom gave me the best advice ever, and I keep trying to remind myself of it over and over, because if I let myself, I could be a real Type A about EVERYTHING... not just some things.

She told me right after I had #3 and #2 was 11 1/2 months old and #1 was almost 4....

"Your whole house can fall down around you. Your laundry can pile up, your house can be littered with every toy you have... and none of that matters. As long as your children are happy and loved... you are doing your job".

And I reminded myself as I tucked three happy, smiling little boys into bed last night, how very right she is (because she almost always is)!

Beth is a former kindergarten teacher, turned stay-at-home mom to three boys 5.5, 2.5, 1.5. She spends her days trying to keep her boys entertained in a positive way while maintaining her own sanity. You can read more of Beth's thoughts on motherhood on her blog: Queen-Bee, Mom of Three.

Want to add to the conversation? Click here to learn how to become a contributor to the Productive Parenting blog.

Mom Feature: Meet Melissa

2011-11-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

Meet Melissa

I am a stay at home mom of 5, and I have a blog where I like to share experiences of bringing out the charm and potential in our homes and families - with a bit of nonsense and good deals scattered here and there.

I'm so NOT a professional decorator/designer, but I love to look at possibilities of what can "become" with limited time and money.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
When I really listen to them and watch them and enjoy them, and I realize what amazing spirits we have been blessed with.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
When we're rushing or frantic or going from one thing to the next without down time... when I've over-scheduled them or myself and we don't have time to just "be."

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
How tiring it is. I remember when I was younger being down in my room reading a book before bed, and my mom coming down and laying down next to me and saying, "I would love to be curled up in bed with a good book right now.." and I would wonder why she didn't just go get in bed and read??? Now I'm her and understand... I have miles to go before I sleep.

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?

Distraction: look at that dog over there. Do you think he can go to the bathroom on the toilet? Naaaahhhhh. (We're potty training right now and this always seems to get their mind off of whatever...) And get the heck out of there if you can...

What have your children taught you?
Oh goodness....everything? I love to just stand back and try to see things through their eyes. How they stop and look at things and notice the caterpillar on the tree and the orange bridge and the dog in the car. How they can laugh so much during a day. How they can be so mad at you and then in 15 minutes forget all about it. How they can be so fascinated with balloons or a pile of ants. I love the magic and joy they can find in life. There is a reason Jesus brought a little child forward to show what we need to be more like.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
Everything. I really will. Okay, except maybe the diapers and all of the laundry and the arguments between them. My oldest is 11 and my youngest is 2, and I'm already trying to absorb and record because it's already just flying by. I look at our rocking chair and wonder how much longer I'll be able to rock my baby, and I can just get choked up about it. I love being a mom.

You can follow Melissa and her family on her blog: 320 Sycamore.

Mom Feature: Meet Natalie

2011-11-09T06:00:00.000-05:00

Meet Natalie

I am a Christian, a wife, a stay at home mommy, an online shop owner and a ...blogger (that still sounds strange to me...). My days are filled with juggling the needs of my family, crafting, blogging, taking care of our home and most importantly soaking up every little moment with my children.

I often remind myself "they are only little once." I tend to find the funny in any situation and I thrive in chaos. I have always dreamed of a house FULL of littles. I love the Lord and glorify Him through the good times and the not so good times. I love organization and am completely OCD.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I feel that I am doing my best as a mom when I see Cliff and Harper smile. When our house is filled with laughter they are telling me "We are happy. You are doing a good job as a mommy!" We laugh a lot in our house and we tend to focus on the positive aspects of life.

When we turn off the TV, shut down the computer and "accidentally" leave our phones in the car. When we unplug from the crazy hustle and bustle of our everyday lives and just be with each other. When I am prepared for the day.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
When I am tired and exhaustion takes over. When I lack the patience required to teach Cliff and Harper right from wrong. When I say "yes" to too many things and then get stretched too thin. When I spend too much time answering emails and feel that I have wasted an entire day not being fully present with my littles. Those days I go to bed thinking "what am I doing?" Those days I get upset with myself. Those days I feel like the worst mama ever. But I always remind myself that tomorrow is a new day. A chance to do better.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
The love you can feel for someone in an instant. The passion your little ones bring out of you. The patience that is required to be a good parent. The fact that someone who weighs only a few pounds can teach you so much. The trust children have in you. The fear that can so easily take over you. The unknown. The mystery.

Cliff, our first, was born 10 weeks premature. I fought labor for 5 weeks, but could no longer fight it. When he was born, he was not breathing. He was purple. He was fighting for his life. With the help of God and the amazing NICU team, Cliff survived. We are so blessed. Cliff has Cerebral Palsy as a result of his early entrance into this world. Being a "special needs mama" has changed me - for the better.

Cliff taught me to SLOW DOWN - literally. He uses a walker and so it takes us a little longer to get from point a to point b. You know what? Now I am perfectly ok with that. We take our time. We get there when we get there. Cliff shows me what "hard work" REALLY looks like. Everyday, Cliff struggles to complete everyday tasks. Although he is struggling, there is still a huge smile on his face. He is determined. He is strong. He is amazing. Most of all becoming a mother gave me the gift of being able to trust God, REALLY trust God. Becoming a mother has strengthened my relationship with the Lord.

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way?
Singing. Music is something that is always on in our house. We dance through our days. Even putting up laundry becomes a fun "dance" that we do together. No matter where we are, as soon as I sense a meltdown coming, I bust out a tune complete with silly dance moves. What once was the beginning of a meltdown turns into smiles, claps and giggles. Yes, when this happens on aisle 3 of Publix, people tend to shoot me strange looks, but little do they know that hearing my horrible, off-key version of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" complete with slightly over dramatic dance moves is soooo much better than the screeching cries that would otherwise radiate throughout the grocery store. Music is like magic. It works!

What have your children taught you?
Patience. To put others first - most of the time ;). Being a parent requires discipline. It's ok not to be your children's friend all the time. Children need structure and freedom. Parenting is a balancing act. Be an example of the adult you want your littles to become one day.

The fact that no parenting book or parenting expert knows my child as well as I do. When it comes to my littles, I am the expert. I go with my gut instinct, even if it is against all of the advice of others who have "been there, done that." Each child is different and requires different parenting.

Take Harper for instance. She slept in the bed with Ross and I for 14 months... AND she nursed all night long. Yep. I was her pacifier. Does that make me a horrible mama? NO. It's just what worked for us. Now I look back on those nights and smile, wishing we were still in that moment if only for one minute.

Now Cliff, on the other hand, needed his space. He needed to be in his own room. And although he was a preemie and we were told he HAD to be fed every 2 hours for the first 6 months of his life, he did not like for us to wake him up in the middle of the night for feedings. So after the first month he was home, we didn't. He needed sleep and peace so that's what he got.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
My children have taught me to be present. I am constantly soaking every moment in. Etching the little moments that I will want to remember one day in my mind. And when times get tough, I remind myself that "these are the days. " One day I will look back and wish that I could be where I am right now if only for a moment. I will miss the chaos, the crazy mornings, the laughter and even the mess. I will look back on these days and remember their smiles, the cute things they say, the happiness, the joy, the way it felt when their tiny hands were wrapped around my finger.

Nothing is more important than raising our children. Be with them. Soak them in. Be present.

I will miss every little moment with my children. And by every little moment I mean EVERY moment. The good and the bad. I will miss the sleepless nights, the craziness of just getting through each day. The mess. I will miss their innocence. Their curiosity. I will miss the laughter and loudness that reverberates through our house. I will even miss the fussiness and the endless loads of laundry. I will miss holding my babies. Rocking them to sleep. The way they smell. Their fat chubby feet. I will miss when they look at me and say "Hold you!" I will miss the feeling that I have when I am the only one who makes their tummy feel better. No medicine is as good as mama. I will miss being needed. Most of all, I will miss having them be with me all the time. They are my little sidekicks. I need them.

You can follow Natalie on her blog: Johnny in a Dress

Stuck

2011-11-07T15:56:00.001-05:00

By Jill VanHimbergen

Today I put Charlie down for his morning nap as soon as we got home from dropping Finny off, and then I hit the ground running. Laundry down the chute. Sheets off Finny’s bed. Dust. Change out laundry. Heat up coffee. Attack list: write ad, renew library books, plan Christmas budget, plan playdate, call Cincinnati Bell about slow Internet, order hats and mittens online, blog.

As I was busily buzzing around the house, moving as fast as my legs would carry me and constantly being stopped by new reminder bells in my head to add to the list—fix squeaky door, put away Halloween costumes, clean toilets, pay speeding ticket, empty dishwasher—I heard Charlie up in his room still crying. It had been twenty, maybe thirty minutes. I knew he was tired, so why still crying?

I set my hot coffee on the coaster and paused my work at the computer and climbed the stairs to see if I could give him a quick back rub and get him to settle into his snooze, but when I opened the door, I found that the poor baby was stuck. His chubby thigh was pinned between the rails of his crib. I’ve never used a bumper pad because the American Academy of Pediatrics has always scared me away from them, but this situation would make a good argument for them. So I jimmied his pudgy little thigh out of the crib rails and I picked him up to soothe him out of his hysterics. Then, I made him a bottle and settled into the rocking chair in his room and I rocked him and fed him as we listened to some lullabies and the soft whir of his fan. Then, he fell asleep, and I was stuck.

Charlie never sleeps in my arms, he’s never slept on my chest or in my bed, and we almost never rock him to sleep. There’s just been no time and no energy to give Charlie this kind of pampering. He gets lots of compliments on his good-natured demeanor, so maybe this is a direct result of the fact that this kid has just had to roll with it a bit more than his brother had to. ( I actually spent $7 on Grapeseed Oil once to give Finny a baby massage as recommended by a video I watched. I used it once.)

As Charlie snoozed in my arms, the list ticked on in my head, but I found that I couldn’t get up. I was stuck in the chair, pinned down by a kind of life-affirming pleasure that only comes around if you allow yourself to be still long enough to capture it. Like watching the sun fall through the leaves onto a wooded path, it was, in every sense— bliss.

And even though the list ticked on—change the carseats, organize the clothes, order printer paper—I found that there was a louder voice overtaking it. The voice of an older, wiser me from ten years down the road, saying... Visit Jill's blog to read the rest of the story.

Jill is a stay-at-home mom to two boys. She is a teacher and a writer on the side and tries to fulfill these roles as often as she can (when she's not doing the very full-time work of parenting). You can read more of Jill's thoughts on motherhood on her blog: Musings on Motherhood.

Want to add to the conversation? Click here to learn how to become a contributor to the Productive Parenting blog.

Mom Feature: Meet Beth

2011-11-03T13:31:00.001-04:00

Meet Beth

I am a former kindergarten teacher, turned stay-at-home mom to three boys 5.5, 2.5, 1.5. I spend my days trying to keep my boys entertained in a positive way while maintaining my own sanity. I blog about my experience at www.queenbee-momofthree.blogspot.com

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
When we are all "unplugged". I have no problems with technology and letting my kids watch TV and play a reasonable amount of video games... but when we are all focused on doing something "together", whether a project, a game or just a walk... I feel most "tuned in" and positive. I have the ability to really listen, focus on my kids and most importantly, ENJOY them!

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
When I take on too much. I love to volunteer, be involved in outside activities and entertain... sometimes my priorities get skewed and my kids are usually the ones who suffer.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
How difficult the day-to-day activities can be. When I was teaching, I had 25 kids who I could pretty much entertain or at least maintain for 7 hours every day. It is MUCH harder to keep 3 kids entertained on a daily basis when they're your own children. I am still often surprised how long a simple activity can take... like getting everyone dressed and out the door to get someplace.... amazing.

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
We try really hard to use diversion... some might call it "bribing" or "giving in"...we don't look at it that way. If you can diverge a meltdown, by allowing something unexpected to happen (stopping what you are doing and allowing a new game without cleaning up...a surprise few minutes on the computer or ipad) I look at that as a positive. There is time for clean-up or really "talking it out" when the chance of a meltdown is over.

We used to talk, talk, talk our oldest until we were blue in the face... never realizing he wasn't comprehending anything because he was so upset. We divert... calm... got back to the problem later and try to solve it.

My second tactic is whispering when they are about to melt down. Often they'll quiet down because they are curious about what you are saying.

What have your children taught you?
Perseverance, patience, enjoying the simple things, how to slow down, laughter, joy, silliness, forgiveness... I could go on forever.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
Their innocence. How much they genuinely love and need me. Their cuddles. Them WANTING to hold my hand. Their footed jammies.

You can follow Beth and her family at her blog: www.queenbee-momofthree.blogspot.com

What is one question you would like answered about our nation's public education?

2011-11-01T12:25:00.000-04:00

Next Wednesday, November 9th you will have a unique opportunity to have your question answered by the Secretary of Education, Arnie Duncan.

Productive Parenting, along with Parenting Magazine, is honored to host Secretary Duncan in Cincinnati for a Town Hall Meeting at Mason Intermediate School at 7:00pm on November 9th. His purpose in coming is not to deliver a speech but rather to listen to and respond to your questions.

Everyone is invited.

Following the event there will be a special opportunity for 15 parents to engage in a smaller roundtable discussion with a Teacher Ambassador to DC who works directly with the US Department of Education making decisions that impact your children.

What would you like to share?

Now, I know that we are a busy group of moms, so in the length of a tweet (140 characters or less), contact us and tell us why you want to attend.

We will announce 5 Productive Parenting winners on Friday and email you if you are one of them.

The Un-Super Mom

2011-10-31T10:30:00.000-04:00

By Jill VanHimbergen

It seems to me that there’s an awful lot of praise these days for the multi-tasker, the Super Mom, the “She does it all!” type of gal. This evolved breed of woman plunges the toilet while she breastfeeds the baby, responds to email, stirs the chili, kisses her husband and reads her four-year-old Corduroy and the New Pocket. This evolved breed of woman works full time, moms full time, presides over her local MOPS group, and hits the gym at least five times a week. In addition, this knock-your-socks-off lady gets the thank-you-notes in the mail the day after she receives the gift, immediately uploads her photos to Facebook, and throws a helluva baby shower.

I have discovered, after three years of motherhood, that I am not this “How in the world does she do it all?!” type of girl. I am more of a “Well, I guess she does the best with what she has” kind of chick. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I multitask all right. No gettin’ around that one. But things turn out kind of sloppy, mis-shapen, and misplaced when I do. Dirty diapers get thrown down the laundry chute, library books grow fees, coupons get thrown down the pit of despair that is my pantry, and sometimes, especially when headed to the zoo, I hear a little voice from the backseat say, “Mommy, are we lost or something?”

I have tried hard to evolve into the Super-Mom-She-Creature I feel that many of my peers have successfully become, but it seems that if I attempt to run an errand, have a playdate and make a meal all in the same day, I will more than likely burst into flames.

And yet something repeatedly gnaws at me to become a person I am not meant to be. This twisted inner voice that says, Oh, man, she has three kids and she organizes fundraisers for bone marrow transplants? I should do something like that. Or Oh, wow, she’s got two kids and she figures out how to shop at four different grocery stores to buy only organic and local and make five meals a week that do not include macaroni or chicken nuggets. I should buy a cookbook or something and figure out how to do that.

So, who is this little devil inside me that is repeatedly trying to convince me to bite off more than I can chew? This twisted little voice who tries to convince me to be something that I’m not? Is it my own twisted psyche? Society? Oprah?

Whatever it is, it’s time for it to shush. Somewhere along the way, I filled my giant pockets with greedy handfuls of guilt. Guilt that my house isn’t clean enough, that my kid’s birthday party isn’t cool enough, that I am not present enough, that I am not creative enough. Somewhere along the way, I got this idea that I could and should DO IT ALL.

But today, that’s changing. Today, I’m putting on a pocketless sundress and I’m skipping through my clover-filled yard to go on a bear hunt with my boys. I’m leaving the crap on the counter and the blocks on the floor. I’m making tuna melts for dinner. And I’m starting a movement.

A movement in praise of the Un-Super Mom, the mono-tasker, the “I can only handle one thing at a time!” type of gal.

The Un-Super Mom does not run the PTA, the book club, and the church youth group. The Un-Super Mom has a glass of wine in front of her DVRed shows, reads her book, and goes to bed. The Un-Super Mom does not organize the coat closet and she does not dust the ceiling fans. The Un-Super Mom takes a nap. She might even eat a clichéd bon-bon or two…or four. The Un-Super Mom does not pull her weeds. She embraces them as God’s lush, green, shrub-choking plan for her garden. The Un-Super Mom has lollipop sticks stuck to the leather seating of her car and she has—GASP!— processed foods in her pantry. The Un-Super Mom sometimes lets her kids watch more than the suggested daily hour of TV.

The Un-Super Mom is the mom who figures out how to NOT do it all, the mom who drinks her coffee and reads the newspaper and maybe stays in her pajamas a little too long. The mom who accepts the fact that she has limits. That they are unique to her. And that they are to be embraced and respected.

And to all you “Do It All” Mamas out there staying up tonight to fold laundry, check emails, and make scrapbooks? You go girls! But I’m not with you tonight. Tonight I’m gonna eat a cookie and go to bed. I’m leaving the laundry in the basket, the toy boat on the stairs, and the unopened mail on the counter. I’m emptying my pockets of all the guilt and missed expectations and I’m accepting the fact that I simply was not wired to run a fundraiser, iron shirts, or give a crap about cooking from scratch. Goodnight, scary little Martha Stewart/Oprah voice in my head. Come back when you resemble something much cooler and funnier like Gilda Radner or Tina Fey. Then, we’ll talk.

Want to add to the conversation? Click here to learn how to become a contributor to the Productive Parenting blog.

Our Special Code

2011-10-26T13:20:00.000-04:00

When I was a little girl, I was extremely shy - especially in crowds. I would cling to my mom and beg her not to leave my side.

So my mom created a special code for us to use when we were at parties or in large groups of people. All I had to do was touch my nose, and that would be her signal that I needed to see her alone.

Most of the time I didn't need anything - but I just wanted a few minutes alone with my mom, away from all of the people and noise. We'd duck into a bathroom or go outside or sit in the car for a minute - I'd tell her what was on my mind, or just give her a hug. And then we'd go back and join the crowd.

It worked like a charm.

And when I look back on my childhood - I remember my mom always having time for me. I remember that I never once doubted or questioned her love for me.

I'm doing my best to make sure my kids look back on their childhoods and feel the same way.

Anna Luther, mother of three

No More Empy Threats (I mean it this time)

2011-10-24T06:00:00.000-04:00

The past month or so has been one big empty threat for my kiddos - mainly for my 4-year-old, Miles.

We say: Put your shoes on now, or you're not going to spend the night at Grandma's house.

What we really mean: Ummmmm... you can pretty much pee all over the house, refuse to share with your sister, throw your dishes on the floor - it doesn't matter. You're spending the night at grandma's no matter what!

What we say: If you keep running at the pool, then we're going to go home.

What we really mean: We're not going to leave our friends at the pool and make your brother and sister go home early because you're not listening. We're going to just keep on reminding you. You might have to sit down for a few minutes, but we're not going home.

What we say: You do that again, and you're going to bed for the night.

What we really mean: We're not going to put you to bed before 6 pm. Listening to you scream and cry all night will ruin everyone's night.

What we say: Eat your vegetables. There's no snack before bedtime - this is it.

What we really mean: We value our sleep way more than whether or not you eat that one piece of cold broccoli. If you say you're hungry before bedtime, we're going to give you something to eat.

After weeks of letting things slide and ignoring bad behavior or reinforcing it with empty threats, I finally came to my senses.

Even if I'm the one that feels punished, I need to start following through on things - or (even more importantly) not threaten things that I never intend to follow through on.

One day last week, we were putting on our shoes to walk to a nearby park to play on the playground and enjoy a picnic lunch. The kids were excited, and they helped me pack our lunch into a cooler. We were all ready to go, and I took a few minutes to change the baby's diaper before we walked out the door. While I was preoccupied doing this, Miles couldn't control himself. He ran into the basement and dumped every single tub of toys in the room. (This is behavior that we have been working on for months - and something he knows he is not allowed to do.)

I was angry. I put him in time out, and the whole time he kept saying, "We're still going to the park, right? We won't miss our picnic lunch, will we?"

And I knew that his behavior would never change if all he got was a 3-minute time out followed by an afternoon of fun at the park.

The last thing I wanted was to stay home. The weather was perfect, the baby didn't need to eat or sleep for at least two hours. My middle child (Alice) was excited to get out and run.

But I knew that I couldn't let one more empty threat rule our house.

So, much to Miles's surprise, we didn't go to the park for lunch. He sat in time out a little longer than usual, and then we went to the basement and cleaned up every single toy he had dumped.

Alice and I had some special time creating art projects, and Miles was allowed to join us after he had cleaned the basement.

It wasn't the afternoon we had planned. But I finally got through to Miles that his behavior will not be tolerated - even if it means punishing the entire family.

And now my husband and I have been making a strong effort not to threaten something that we have no intention of following through with. If we're not willing to leave the restaurant, then we don't threaten to. If we're going to cave and let him have a graham cracker before bed, then we don't threaten not to.

When we're more consistent, our kids are too.

Halloween with Young Kids - It Can Get Ugly

2011-10-18T10:44:00.002-04:00

Fall is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the leaves, the crisp air, pumpkin patches, picking apples...

And I especially love Halloween. I have vivid childhood memories of working with my mom (for what seemed like months) to create my costume. I remember the anticipation, the trick-or-treating with family and friends. I loved Halloween growing up.

And once we started having kids, I had visions of making their costumes and trick-or-treating through our neighborhood. I thought it would be just as fun as I always remembered - even when my kids were really little.

But the reality is that Halloween and young kids don't always mix. They get tired. They have meltdowns. They don't necessarily want to wear the cute costumes I've made.

Two years ago, Alice was still a baby and already in bed when trick-or-treating rolled around. But I had high hopes for Miles. Perhaps they were too high - this is as far as we got:

His costume was never even zipped up. He asked to go to bed, and his wish was granted. I passed out candy at the door and enjoyed the other kids' costumes instead.

Last year, Miles did quite a bit better. But Alice did not. I made her the cutest kitty costume - complete with ears, a tail and a tulle skirt.

It took an entire bag of M&Ms just to get the skirt on her. So this was her costume - and we only made it to two houses for trick-or-treating before both kids were asking to go to bed.

This year, my expectations are much, much lower. And we'll see how the evening goes. I'm sure there will be tears and meltdowns - but hopefully there will be some fun too!

What has surprised you the most about Halloween with young kids?

Anna Luther, mother of three

Running Out of Time (If the Food Doesn't Kill You First)

2011-10-12T15:18:00.001-04:00

By Amy Butler

So, I have been sick this week - food poisoning sick. I'll spare you the ugly details, but suffice it to say that I've been pretty worthless all week. The only reason I'm trying to be productive today is because we're running out of food and that means a grocery run!

Time is what this makes me dwell on. When sickness or emergencies happen, time lost is often what we mourn the most. With the fast pace many of us keep, feeling guilty about the amount time spent with those we love seems to be the norm. Monday I was so sick that my husband stayed home from work part of the day and the rest my mom stayed with me and watched after J. There were moments amid my delirium that I felt bad for J because I was not available to him and really hardly conscious of him. That, of course, made me think of working mothers who have to be away from their children several hours a day. Before I knew it, I was tied up in a "There's just not enough time!" cycle.

Here's a more (I think) realistic rendering of time and where it matters most. Time cycles and sometimes there is a lot and sometimes there is not. But you don't have to have a million hours to make a positive impact in someone's life. Think of your favorite uncle or some of the best memories with a parent or sibling. Did it take 12 hours to make? Probably not. Most great memories were made in moments, a few hours at best. A surprise lunch, a special midnight snack, a homemade gift or even 15 minutes on Skype! Life takes us places we never intended to go. Instead of fighting it, worrying over it and wallowing in it, enjoy the beauties of where you get to be!

Amy Butler is a wife and homemaker to Mr. Butler, a mama to one happy boy, a piano teacher to a dozen or so fabulous students and a writer of balance and moderation so that she'll have some every time mine hers runs out. You can read more of Amy's writing at her blog: http://www.writebalance.com/

Want to add to the conversation? Click here to learn how to become a contributor to the Productive Parenting blog.

Sometimes, All They need is Love

2011-10-10T06:00:00.000-04:00

One day last week, my nearly 4-year-old Miles was really testing me.

Hitting his sister. Throwing toys. Sneaking out of time out. Not listening.

We hadn't even eaten lunch yet, and Miles had been in time-out countless times and had even been sent to his room twice. At this rate, I wasn't really sure how we were going to make it through the rest of the day.

As I was preparing lunch, he walked into the kitchen on yet another path of destruction. He took a toy from his little brother. He threw his sister's cup into the sink before she had time to finish her drink.

I grabbed him by the arm as he stomped past. I wasn't sure what I was going to do: Send him to time out - hasn't been working today. Send him to his room - hasn't been working today. Ask him to stop - hasn't been working today.

I got down on my knees to talk to him at his level - still not sure what I was going to say.

And when I looked into his eyes, I pulled him close and gave him a great, big bear hug. I rocked him back and forth and whispered that he was my very favorite oldest child. That he was usually such great big brother to Alice and Simon. That I loved him so very much.

And then I asked him why he thought he was having such a rough day.

"Oh mom," he said. "I just wanted you to hug me."

And with that, he ran off and was well-behaved for the rest of the day.

And I know there are still time-outs and bad days in our future, but it was a good reminder that "kids need love the most, when they deserve it the least."

What's your fast-fix for poor behavior?

Anna Luther, mother of three.

Advice to My Daughter

2011-10-06T07:53:00.004-04:00

Dear Alice,

It's silly to be writing this to you now, considering that you're only 2. But I find that throughout my days at home with you and your brothers, I can be very hard on myself. Sometimes the things I'm saying in my head are absolutely ridiculous, but I always listen.

"I can't believe you didn't do a load of laundry today. What were you thinking?"

"What a pigsty our house is. Why can't you get it together enough to keep things tidy and CLEAN?"

"How is it only Wednesday, and we're out of food? What is so hard about creating a weekly menu and shopping list and actually doing it?"

"Why haven't you painted the brick fireplace yet? What's taking you so long?"

"Is that a dirty diaper on the DINING ROOM TABLE? Disgusting. Child services should take your kids from you."

Okay - enough about that mean little voice in my head. I'm writing you this letter to read when you're all grown up (although you won't necessarily feel grown up.) When you have little kids of your own. When you're living away from me... but hopefully not too far.

I think, as women, we can be way too hard on ourselves. I don't know where these ridiculous standards come from, but they're there. And we rarely live up to them.

So when I'm being my meanest to myself, I like to pretend that you're all grown up and calling me for advice. And I think of what I would tell you....

"I can't believe I didn't do a load of laundry today. What was I thinking?"

You have little kids, Alice. Your job is to be their mother. Give them your attention. Play with them. If it makes you feel better to do a load of laundry, then go for it. But guess what? Tomorrow's always another day. Do two loads tomorrow if you need to. But don't sweat the small stuff like laundry.

"What a pigsty our house is. Why can't I get it together enough to keep things tidy and CLEAN?"

No house with kids is always clean. If you're doing your job as a mom, then it will probably only be clean while the kids are sleeping. Do a 15-minute pick-up before your husband gets home. Try to get your kids to help you when it's worth it. And don't stress.

The days of cleaning your house from top to bottom all in one swoop are over. Clean what you can when you can. And when you really need the motivation to do a full-house scrubbing? Have a party or invite people over. Nothing gives you a kick in the pants like company due to arrive in an hour.

And - by the way - in about 20 years or so, your house is going to be spotless. Something you put on a shelf will still be there a year later. It's hard, but enjoy your messy house. One day you'll be longing for someone to run through the family room and throw all the pillows off the couch or pee on the floor. Seriously.

"How is it only Wednesday, and we're out of food? What is so hard about creating a weekly menu and shopping list and actually doing it?"

Ummm - it is hard. And who cares? Just go to the grocery store and try to make a better list for next time. Wait until your kids are teenagers - then you'll see what's really hard.

"Why haven't I painted the brick fireplace yet? What's taking me so long?"

You're kidding, right? You have kids this age, and you're going to try to paint something other than the sidewalk? Calm down. That fireplace will always be there for you to paint. Your kids won't always want you to paint with them.

"I can't believe I haven't lost all this baby weight yet. When my 2nd child was this age, I was already 10 pounds lighter."

Set an example for your kids through your healthy choices. And go from there. Do your best to feel healthy, and everything will fall into place. But don't beat yourself up over it. Pregnancy is hard on a body. Remember that and get over it.

"Is that a dirty diaper on the DINING ROOM TABLE? Disgusting. Child services should take my kids from me."

Seriously. Stop. I didn't give birth to you so you could be so mean to yourself. No one is expecting perfection except for you. And no one is judging you except for yourself.

Love you!
Mom

Anna Luther, mother of three.

Five Halloween Crafts to Make with Kids

2011-10-03T06:00:00.000-04:00

#1 - Glowing Jack O'Lanterns

Use your recycled glass jars, tissue paper and Mod Podge to make these clever jack o'lanterns. Not So Idle Hands provides step-by-step instructions. (And you won't believe where these were featured!)

#2 - Mod Podge Pumpkins

Grab some inexpensive foam pumpkins, some scrapbook paper or fabric scraps and some Mod Podge and create fun decorations for the entire season. Random Thoughts of a SUPERMOM shows you how.

#3 - Paper Bag Bats

Have a paper towel roll and a brown paper bag? Add some glue, and you have a spooky bat! Mer Mag shows you how.

#4 - Pasta Skeleton

Leave it to Martha to turn Halloween into a learning opportunity!

#5 - Toilet Paper Pumpkins

It doesn't get much easier than this! One Charming Party provides the how-to.

What are your favorite Halloween crafts to do with kids?

Compiled by Anna Luther, mom of three.

Mom Feature: Meet Jill

2011-09-28T06:00:00.000-04:00

Meet Jill

I am a stay-at-home mom to my two boys, Finny, who’s almost three, and Charlie, who’s eight months old. I am a teacher and a writer on the side and I try to fulfill these roles as often as I can when I am not doing the very full time work of parenting. One way I do this is by blogging on my site Musings on Motherhood-- www.vanhimbergen.blogspot.com. It’s a gift to my boys.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
When I am present, joyful, organized and rested, I am an awesome mom. I play, I dance, I sing, I join my son in the land of make believe, I tickle, I laugh, I snuggle, I go for long walks collecting leaves and sticks and pine cones and I don’t look at my watch.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
When I am sleep deprived, I struggle terribly. I lose my patience at the slightest glimmer of misbehavior. I sometimes feel out of control in these moments. Mothering is full time. Sometimes there is no break. Sometimes there is no nap, there is no sleep, and the result is a little touch of insanity. I am constantly looking for strategies to cope with these moments. Sometimes Walt Disney is my best, best friend.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
The guilt and the fear. I knew there would be great, great joy. That’s why we had kids to begin with. Both my husband and I could not wait for the cooing and the snuggling and the loving. But along with that indescribable joy, comes the guilt of imperfection and the fear of losing them, the fear of harm coming to them. I have to turn that off and stay focused on the joy.

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
If we’re at home and a meltdown is coming, we watch a movie. Meltdowns signal that we’re tired and we need to unwind a bit, so we cuddle up with juice and a snack and Peter Pan, and all is right with the world. If we’re away from home, I might try a game of ‘I Spy’ to try and turn the focus to something else until we can get home.

What have your children taught you?
They have taught me to slow down. Sometimes it’s okay to have nowhere to be at that moment but sitting on the bed in the dark, making circles on the ceiling with the giant flashlight.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
The snuggling. Man, do I love the snuggling. I remember one afternoon I had so much to do and instead I just lay next to Finny while he napped and I took in every last inch of his tiny, precious little face. I memorized his soft, little elbow. That was time well spent.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?
This is the hardest job I’ve ever had. I have never felt more flawed in my life. It’s so important to have a support network of other moms who aren’t afraid to be real with you about how flawed they are as well. It allows you to forgive yourself and move on. To remember you’re not alone.

You can follow Jill and her family on her blog, Musings on Motherhood.

Mom Feature: Meet Stacy

2011-09-21T06:00:00.000-04:00

Meet Stacy

Hi, my name is Stacy, and I have always loved to create. When I became a mother I realized not only was it something I enjoyed but I found it was necessary to keep my sanity. A little "me" time goes a long way. I started a blog called Not JUST A Housewife to share my many projects.

I am married to my college sweetheart who is an architect. He totally gets my need for a creative outlet. I have four little boys that are 9, 7, 4, and 1 1/2. I wish I could hit PAUSE. I love their ages right now! They are all creative and love to do projects with me. They love that I have a blog. They especially love to see their projects on there.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I feel so blessed that I can stay at home with my boys. Some of my favorite mom moments are those unexpected teaching moments that pop up. They usually start with a question from one of my boys. Those conversations are not scheduled out in advance. They happen organically and are some of the most special moments as a mom.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
I suffer from the "can't say no" syndrome. It isn't that I feel like I have to say yes, it is that I really do want to say yes. I want to help a friend paint her kitchen. I want to refinish my sister's dresser. And I want to coach little league, etc. So as a result I sometimes take too much on. Then I get stressed and, unfortunately, I take it out on my kids by being short and grumpy with them.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
I should probably go with the standard "I couldn't believe I could love someone so much" answer and while it is true, I think the biggest thing I got out of it was that I had a ton of flaws! Before being a mom I thought I was a pretty okay person. I was convinced I had it together. Then I had my first kid and I realized I had faults. I had a temper. I wasn't as good at multi-tasking as I thought. I was forgetful. I could go on and on. I guess I will blame it on the lack of sleep and hormones :) But it was a real eye opener for me that I had a lot to learn not just about being a mom, but about me as a person.

What is your go-to activity when a "mommy meltdown" is on its way?
I paint something. I love to paint because I can see instant results. It changes the look and feel of a room or object. Painting soothes me and, in the end, I have something to show for my "therapy session". I also love to garden. When painting is not an option, I weed my garden. It is the same kind of thing. I see instant results and have something beautiful to show for it.

What have your children taught you?
This one makes me cry. I could write a book on this. I look at my kids and I think they are more responsible than I am. They have more compassion that I do. They are forgiving, thoughtful, and honest. They know how to have fun! Sometimes as adults we need to be reminded to have fun. Not the "take a vacation" kind of fun but the spur of the moment dance party kind of fun. Kids are incredible. They understand more than we give them credit sometimes. Even the tiny ones. They will amaze you if you give them the chance.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
Seriously? I had to go get a roll of toilet paper for this one. This one makes me bawl! Like I said before, I want to hit pause. I have a child in each of my favorite stages right now. My 9 (almost 10) year old is such a good helper and is not to the "I'm too cool for school" age yet. My 7 year old has so much enthusiasm for life and everything is an adventure. My 4 year old is becoming so independent and such a little peace maker. And my baby is at my favorite age in the world - 18 months! Their chunky bodies running around, their first words and jibberish, their fascination with EVERYTHING, and all their energy. I love it all! I want to stay here forever. I will miss the innocence, the bugs in jars on my kitchen table, the holey jeans, the muddy footprints on my barely mopped floor, the sticky kisses, all the hugs around my legs.

You can follow Stacy and her family on her blog: http://www.notjustahousewife.net

Sensory Play: A Messy Way To Learn

2011-09-19T13:43:00.000-04:00

By Sheila Butler

This has been an exceptionally hot summer in North Texas. With 100+ temperatures on
most days, ﬁnding activities for the little ones has been challenging.

We take every opportunity to be outdoors. So this week we headed out early one
morning to get some fresh air and sensory play.

I set up four stations and grabbed some toy cars, foam alphabet letters, cups and spoons.
The boys could hardly contain themselves while I was getting prepared, and it didnʼt take
long for them to jump right in and start playing.

As you'll see in the video, they had a great time. From squeezing to pouring,
splashing to dipping, and rubbing to tossing -- it was a great sensory experience. Best
of all, it was messy!

Clean up was not a problem, as we simply hosed everything off. We ended our morning
by playing in the water and pretending it was raining -- something we havenʼt seen
much of in Texas this summer.

I appreciate every opportunity to introduce my little giants to new and fun things.
Although we have done similar sensory things in the past, this was our ﬁrst time to do
this outside. This was great because it allowed the boys to get a little messier, which I
feel enhanced their learning experience.

I would chalk this up to a great day of fun, love and learning. I cannot say enough good
things about sensory play and didnʼt realize the true importance of it until working
through some issues with my youngest. I try to incorporate sensory stimulation into his
daily routine, but days like this are truly special.

I must admit that the prep work and clean up often take more time than the activities
themselves, but itʼs well worth it when I see their excitement and the learning that takes
place.

Shelia is a mommy of two, and the "Chief Keeper Upper" at Me Giant. After spending seven years successfully co-owning and running Aidan Gary Home, Inc., a wholesale decor and furniture business, Butler made the decision to change paths and focus on childrenʼs design and decor. This decision was not surprising as through the gift of adoption, her home welcomed two little giants within an 11 month period. Talk about a change of lifestyle! You can keep up with Sheila and her "little giants" on her Me Giant blog.

Want to add to the conversation? Click here to learn how to become a contributor to the Productive Parenting blog.

Letter to my children regarding their education

2011-09-16T10:38:00.000-04:00

Dear Paige, Ben and Curtis,

I want to share my committment to you as we enter a new chapter of our lives together: your school years. Life is funny in that just when you feel you've learned and become proficient in one area, a new one opens up to, once again, apply yourself to new learning and growth.  This is not meant to frustrate us but rather to excite and inspire us. I experience this daily as your mom and I know that it is your experience as well as you have leanred through these early years to speak, crawl, walk and engage in the world around you. Learning is a lifelong pursuit and I want you to know that I am learning everyday right alongside of you.

This year as you enter second grade, first grade and kindergarten I want you to know that you are not alone but, rather, part of a team. The team is comprised of you, your dad, myself and your teachers. We each have unique and important roles to play as we work together to discover and develop the unique talents you have each been blessed with.

Your teachers will introduce new concepts and skills through the classes you take. They are responsible for teaching you the these concepts and skills in an environment that fosters excitement for learning. It is our responsibility as parents to work in partnership with your teachers to help you to understand the concepts you are learning in school by working with you at home. We will look at your binders each day to see what you are learning and practice these new skills at home.  I look forward to applying your new skills to our everyday lives: like using reading and math to follow recipes, purchase groceries, read road signs and many other ways. Some things will be more challenging than others to learn. I had a hard time with math as a kid. This is o.k. If you are having trouble with anything related to school you can always talk to me or dad about it. It is your responsibility to work to the best of your ability in school. Just like people go to work everyday, you now get to go to work too. Your 'job' is to learn from your teachers and parents as we work as a team.

Each of you have unique gifts built into yourselves.  I am so excited, to be a part of your team as we discover and develop them. It will be an adventure to see how you will be lead to use your unique gifts and talents as you grow older.

Love, Mom

Join Parenting’s Mom Congress on Education and Learning on Facebook at www.facebook.com/momcongress to connect with parents around the country who are standing up for great schools. Want to make your school great right NOW? Enter the Mom Congress School Transformation Grant contest to win $20,000 for your school.

The Fight Against Childhood Obesity: Tips for Fighting Back

2011-09-12T09:35:00.000-04:00

Submitted by Sarah Morris on behalf of Primrose Schools, offering preschool programs with The Right Foundation to Build Active Minds, Healthy Bodies, and Happy Hearts®

With childhood obesity on the rise, experts suggest that young children need to accumulate at least 60 minutes and up to several hours of physical activity every day. Unfortunately, many children are not nearly as active as they need to be. It is clear that along with poor diet, the rise of video games and physical inactivity has contributed to a large increase in childhood obesity in the United States in the past 20 years. The following statistics are unsettling:

Between 16 and 33 percent of children and adolescents are obese nationwide.
(Source: American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry)
The percentage of obese or overweight children is at or above 30 percent in 30 states. (Source: Trust for America's Health)

Research has shown that children who develop basic motor skills such as throwing, catching, kicking, jumping, skipping, and balance are more likely to grow into healthy active adults. Studies have shown that daily physical activity helps children academically as well. Learning basic physical skills is essential to the healthy growth and development of your child.

So, what can parents do to teach their children about the importance of being physically active and help them learn these necessary skills? Trying the tips below will help you and your family to create a fun environment for physical activity and will contribute to everyone’s physical health.

Tips for Getting Your Family Active:

Find a place such as a park the backyard, the driveway, a gymnasium, or some place that you all can go.
Provide several supplies of balls, hoops, hockey sticks, bats, paddles, racquets, musical instruments, jump ropes, etc. This will give them an option of what they want to choose.
Equipment should be soft, lightweight, and made for children.
Do it with them! Don’t just tell them to go outside and do it by themselves, teach them; show them how to do it. It’ll strengthen your bond with them and provide you with a workout as well.

Game Ideas:

Use sidewalk chalk to create your own four-square or hopscotch grids.
Play a game of hide and seek or tag.
Go on a walk or a bike ride around the neighborhood or if near a park walk or bike ride to there.
Go swimming in a local park pool or your own. If not a pool get a slip and slide from a store or make your own or just set up a sprinkler.
Always cheer for them and praise them for what they do good, because if they know their good at something or feel that their good at something most likely they’ll want to continue to do it over and over again.
Or just keep it simple and play a sport that they like to watch.
With video games being so popular as they are, observe some of their games see what they’re like and then re-create them outside. For instance a shooter game could be used outside with “nerf” guns.

Times have changed. Children used to go outside and play tag, hide and seek, basketball, baseball, football, or soccer until the street lights turned on. This doesn’t happen as much as it used to as children now would rather stay inside and watch television or turn on a video game or update Facebook. Make an effort to get outside with your children and play and, most of all, have fun.

How do you keep your family active?

Turns Out You Can Say "NO" Too Often

2011-09-06T07:00:00.001-04:00

By Meagan Clanahan

I can almost remember the exact day the “NO’s” came fast and furious. With two increasingly active babies, my husband and I decided it was time to give our twins more space to run. Like they were horses that needed space to let loose. Anyway, we decided it was time to get the house baby-proofed and let them out of the tiny space in the living room they had been relegated to.

So we bought out the baby superstores for any and everywhere proofing device and let them at it. That first morning, I thought I was going to lose my mind. There were a few things I was not willing to compromise on changing since I had pretty much allowed them to be King and Queen of the house. One was my pulling up my blinds. I live in Texas where we are the midst of the longest heat wave since 1980 and opening my blinds to let in the 180 degree heat just wasn’t an option.

The popular refrain that day was “Ryan, NO SIR!” or “Quinn, NO MA’AM!” as they pulled on my blinds, attempted to climb up on couches, pull over chairs, and rearrange my furniture. And each time, I would say it, they would just look at me and almost smile. I felt mocked, I felt powerless, and I felt like I was losing control of my house. Of course, I understood it --- they were discovering, learning, curious. And although I knew that, I felt like saying “No” gave me some sort of magical Mommy Power.

What I quickly learned is that “No!” said repeatedly has little or no power. It’s kind of like the person you work with that just continues talking all of the time and never stops to take a breath --- they may have good things to say, but you stop listening because THEY.TALK.ALL.THE.TIME. That’s kind of how it got to be with the twins. They stopped listening to NO. My feisty little girl just thought it was hilarious to hear it, and it crushed my sensitive boy’s spirit to see Mommy disappointed in him all the time.

I said repeated “No’s” because it was the easy thing to do. Admittedly, a lot of times I am tired, and I do look for the easy way out. Yet, what I found is that instead of saying “No” until I was blue in the face, I could do a few things:

Redirect their energy into a more positive form of play. I.e.: remove them from the situation and show them other fun things they could play within their newly discovered space.
Show them what I wanted them to do instead of just saying the dirty two-letter word. This worked especially well when they continually pitched their sippy cups on the floor. Over and over again, I would show them how to “hand it to Momma when you are all finished”. And one day, they got it. No more “no’s” needed.
Praising them consistently and often for all of the things they did right. Although I know they don’t understand all of the words I say, they do understand the tone of my voice, and it made us all feel better for me to say, “I LOVE the way you are playing so well with your blocks this morning! Great job!” I know it did wonders for my mood --- and they seemed happier as well. Their cheesy, toothy smiles certainly told me that.

Save the “NO” for the big things – the dangerous things. After following steps 1-3, now they LISTEN UP when I say “NO!” It actually does have power now.

Go back to that work situation with the guy who won’t be quiet. What happens when the person who rarely speaks up actually says something during a meeting? People listen because they haven’t heard him over and over again. The babies are similar. They stop what they are doing now when I say "No" because they don’t hear it as a broken record of the same boring refrain.

The best thing? I have an expanded vocabulary outside of that word, AND I have a better relationship with my kids. Yes, it took time. And yes, at times it was frustrating. And yes, yes, yes, there are days when I just want to take the easy way out. But now, instead of just spouting off the word "No", I think through the situation and decide whether the situation truly warrants it.

Playing in the Tupperware cabinet and pulling out all of my lids? Probably not. (Even though on certain days that does make me want to pull my hair out!)

Yanking on the lamp cord when the lamp is about to fall on their head? Yes. “No” would be appropriate then.

Don’t get me wrong – I am all about discipline and my children will have rules and guidelines as they continue to grow up. I am a parent, not a best friend. So they will hear no. Probably again and again and again. But saying "NO" isn’t always the answer.

Meagan is a stay-at-home-mom of boy/girl 14-month-old twins, Ryan and Quinn, a full-time wife to husband, Matt, and a part-time Communications Director for a local non-profit. She lives in Houston, TX where she hasn't had a good hair day in almost 6 years. She loves God, her family, and friends --- and feels blessed to be a twin mommy, even on the most difficult of days. To read more about Meagan and her family's story, please visit their blog at www.clanahanfam.blogspot.com

Want to add to the conversation? Click here to learn how to become a contributor to the Productive Parenting blog.

Mom Feature: Meet Mandy

2011-09-01T07:00:00.001-04:00

Meet Mandy

Hi, I'm Mandy, and I blog over at www.SugarBeeCrafts.com.

I enjoy crafting (obviously) but first and foremost I'm a wife and mother. I have been married 10 years and we have four children, ages 8,6,4,2. It's fun!!

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
When the kids are giggling and can't stop. I love the pure joy of that. It's nice to see them so happy and think, well we must be doing something right...

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
When everyone's in tears - complete opposite of the previous question. If they're talking meanly and making each other upset, I just wonder why I haven't been able to teach them to love each other better.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
It's fun! Everyone talks about all the hard work - which there's plenty of! - but there's also a lot of fun with kids. I love it.

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way?
Give attention - anything to distract and show the child that we can do something fun together. Give them a reason to have fun instead of melt down.

What have your children taught you?
To enjoy everything - to love some of the simplest things. I think you can learn a lot from your kids. It's through them that I become a better person.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
The way they want to spend 24/7 with me - I'm sure one day they won't want to, so I need to enjoy it now!

You can follow Mandy and her family at her blog, www.SugarBeeCrafts.com.

Productive Parenting Roots

2011-08-30T00:00:00.000-04:00

Visit an Oregon Mom's blog to learn about what lead to the creation of Productive Parenting. You may be surprised!

Four Ways to Improve Your Days

2011-08-29T15:08:00.000-04:00

By Amy Butler

You've probably heard the list of things to consider when a baby cries - are they hungry, sleepy, wet, bored, etc.? Well, if you find yourself or someone you love needing an attitude adjustment, picking fights, or just being extra negative, you'd be surprised at how easy it can be to improve upon.

SLEEP - I don't care who you are, how old you are, or what kind of a personality you have, if you're tired and not getting enough sleep, you are probably not the best version of yourself. Sleep for 7 hours or more and then try it all again. Emotions won't run quite as high, and the world is suddenly not such a bad place.

FOOD - This one is two-fold. #1 How long has it been since you/they have eaten anything? If it has been more than 2-3 hours, it's possible things would be better with food. #2 Have you had anything raw and fresh today? If not, at least eat an apple or something to perk everything up. What you eat and how often you eat can change how you feel, react and behave. It might be inconvenient, but it's true.

PLUMBING - And, yes, this is related to the food one. We might not enjoy discussing it (and we won't at length), but if your internal plumbing isn't working, life isn't as nice as it could be. Just sayin'...

BOREDOM - How long has it been since you've left the house, the computer, taken a walk, sweat a little, talked to someone, looked at something beautiful? It all takes a toll. Exercise, doing something outdoors and just generally doing something productive can boost everything!

I've been sleep-deprived this week. Late nights, stress, and trying to keep up with everything has just caught up with me. And yes, it has changed my personality a bit - into the worst version of myself. Cranky, combative, negative, weepy - yeah you name it and I've been guilty of it this week.

But guess what? Except for a 10-minute interruption at about 3:30 am, I slept for 7 whole hours last night! After just doing that, I feel so much happier! I like my husband more, my motivation is back and I can handle so much more! I'm not suggesting it can solve all your problems, but some days it might.

Want to add to the conversation? Click here to learn how to become a contributor to the Productive Parenting blog.

Mom Feature: Meet Rachel

2011-08-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

Meet Rachel

I am honored to be sharing with you all at Productive Parenting today!

My name is Rachel, and I share my three loves over at my blog, SunScholars.com. I love children, I love to create, and I love to teach. These have been very important parts of my life from a very young age. Today, I am a mother of three wonderful (wild) children who are an inspiration for most everything that I do. For me, my blog is a wonderful way for me to connect with others, and share the things I am passionate about!

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
Any time I feel like I have come up with a way to create harmony in our home, I feel like I’m on the right track. When the kids are fighting, whining, and throwing tantrums over one thing or another, I can usually pinpoint exactly “WHAT I DID WRONG” that lead to that point. Not that I take full responsibility for whining or tantrums… but usually these things can be avoided. It is managing things well enough that our home is peaceful is when I feel I’ve done my best.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
When the fighting, whining, and throwing tantrums over-rules the day! I see this as a sign that I need to set whatever it is that I’m doing aside and give my full attention to my kids. A little quality time together, and suddenly the chaos disappears.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
Gosh, I thought I was SO PREPARED to be a mom! I had been caring for OTHER people’s children all my life. But I think that was the problem. They were OTHER people’s children.

When my first, adorable, high-maintenance, cry for three solid hours a day, don’t put me down, no I’m not sleeping in my crib, child was born, I realized that my life was no longer mine! Now, 8 years and three children later, I’m slowly gaining some of that back.

How could I not have realized what a HUGE deal this was?! I think it took me 9 months alone to get over the shock. Beyond that shock, I am still amazed with how different each one of my children is from the other. How each child has different needs, challenges, passions, personality traits that allows you love them each in their own special way.

I also didn’t expect being a mom would be such an ongoing challenge. You always worry if you are making the best decisions for your children, or that you aren’t doing a good enough job in one way or another. At least, I think any “good parent” feels that way at some point.

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
Visit the adoption agency?? Ok, no, seriously… haha. Though I have considered that from time to time. I have found that with my children a little quiet, focused alone time has always helped to tame a meltdown.

For my oldest child the SesameStreet.org site was a GODSEND! A book, a puzzle, or even a little story time with mom, always seems to do the trick.

What have your children taught you?
That every child is different, and no one can tell you “this is the way it’s done”. Over all of the years of struggles with one thing or another between my three children and listening to advice from others, I have learned that each child… each parent… each circumstance is unique. You may be lucky enough to find something that works, but that doesn’t mean it will work for the family next door.

You have to trust yourself as a parent, and know that what you try today might not work today… but perhaps it will next week. Be willing to try something different if it feels right. Most of all… I have learned that it really is the simple things in life that matter most.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
Having them crawl into bed with me in the middle of the night, and the times we sit and snuggle on the couch together. That, and those cute little speech impediments that they all seem to lose by the time they are 4.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?
Being a mom is definitely the hardest job in the world, but it can also be the most rewarding. As a new mom I reflected often on my own childhood, deciding what kind of mom I wanted to be, and what things I valued about my experience… what things I wanted to do differently.

I love that there are so many resources available to moms today with the internet right at our finger tips! There is always someone else out there going through a similar situation, and I love that we have the opportunity to find those people and connect when those before us didn’t. There is so much support out there for parents, which I find such a blessing!

You can follow Rachel and her family at her blog: http://sunscholars.blogspot.com.

The power of the 'Automatic Window Lock' button...

2011-08-23T00:01:00.001-04:00

I'd love to know who developed the automatic window lock button on our modern day cars? I'm putting my money on the fact that it was a mom. Read on for a few musings on the effectiveness or ineffectiveness of using it:)

Shaving Cream Makes My Days Smoother

2011-08-22T06:00:00.000-04:00

A Recipe for a Smooth Day

Spray shaving cream on the table.

Add trucks, tractors, foam brushes, etc.

Mix, play and repeat.

Write for Productive Parenting

2011-08-18T06:00:00.001-04:00

Would you like to add to the parenting conversation on the Productive Parenting blog?

We are currently seeking blog posts that are 250 - 400 words in length. Pictures are an added bonus, but are not necessary.

Topics should be child related and should not promote a specific business or product.

Writers should be members of the Productive Parenting web site (it's free to join.)

The following posts are examples of the type of content we are looking for:

Share Your Toys (but not all of them)

Sensory Trays Keep the Meltdowns Away

Cooking with Kids

Just Say Yes

If you are interested in being a contributor, please contact Anna Luther at annakluther@gmail.com with your proposed topic.

Mom Feature: Meet Sarah

2011-08-17T06:00:00.001-04:00

Meet Sarah

We introduced you to Sarah on Monday, and she's here today to talk about motherhood. Sarah is a mother to five kids, and she blogs about her life and thoughts on motherhood at Clover Lane.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
When I don’t over schedule myself or my children. When I get enough rest.
When I have a little time to myself. When I have a plan, a loose schedule, a slightly organized day. When I remember that I am the parent, and let go of the guilt of not pleasing. When I don’t react to things, but take the opportunity to teach. When I can tell my children see our house as an oasis from the world when they walk in the door after a busy, noisy school day. When I take the time to stop doing and just be with them, whether it’s reading a book, or just laying on the living room carpet while they play around me. When I am complimented on my children’s kindness, or the way they behave in church.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
When I get that exhausted, reactive, shrill sound in my voice, and no one can do anything right. (Which usually happens about the week before school starts when I am overwhelmed by the preparation for change and just downright exhausted because every semblance of order has been slowly eroded away by the fun of summer.)

Also, when my children don’t treat each other kindly. That is a stab to my heart. I don’t know why, but I fear that they won’t all love each other and be close for the rest of their life. I want that badly for them.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
I thought it would be no different from a babysitting experience. Boredom, slowly ticking hours, little attachment. So the love of course surprised me. I had no idea, never gave a thought to the fact that it might be otherwise. When they put my first, Isaac, on top of me, after an excruciating labor that almost killed me, I felt total shock at the love I felt, and of course, the fear that goes along with that love was staggering also.

Every stage and age holds it surprises along the way though, and it is a constant learning experience. I really thought I had it down, and then surprise, surprise, a child turned into a teen and I had to relearn how to say what I needed to say, when and for how long. I am still learning that one. Children are incredible teachers I’ve found, and very forgiving.

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way?
A bath.

What have your children taught you?
To grow up. That I can survive non-stop debilitating nausea for months on end, and then forget about it completely in a matter of months. Not to keep score with my husband. To trust what my mother gut tells me, whether it’s about chicken pox, my child’s new friend, or when to begin solid food. That I am in charge and sometimes it’s not always fun to be the boss, but it’s my duty as a parent, my favor to my children.

That even with all the advice and books, and professionals and status quo, I alone know my child best. That I can be woken up every 2 hours around the clock and still function the next day if I put my mind to it. To appreciate what I have because if my children are alive and healthy I am living in a dream instead of a nightmare. That my husband is an incredible father. Sometimes the small stuff should be sweated.

There is and will be nothing bigger in my life than what I am doing now. That having babies is a gift never to be taken for granted. That I can learn so much from those that have parented before me, and those that are parenting with me. To watch for my best and worst moments, and then make changes to make less worse and more best happen. To say no, quickly and without explanation.

That the pace of life created in our country today is not at all conducive to a child’s spirit, and that it takes nerve and backbone to set our own pace, but where there is a will there is way. That children learn from my example a thousand times more than your words

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
Everything. And I truly mean that-everything from poopy diapers, to Christmas morning. I am one of those mothers who will forever mourn the growing up of my children, and could never say with confidence “I am done” after the last baby.

I can’t watch what little home video we have taped, because it sends me into a funk of epic proportions and freaks me out at how much time flies, and how inadequate my memory really is. In a way, I think I will miss each of my children as I knew them when they were totally and 100% mine, and the way of life I had before I began to have to start to let them go-which in the end, of course, is the entire premise of parenting-to prepare them for life beyond our walls.

You can follow Sarah and her family on her blog:
memoriesoncloverlane.blogspot.com.

An Inspiring, Deliberate Mother

2011-08-15T06:00:00.000-04:00

We hope you've been enjoying our "Mom Feature" series!

One of our favorite moms is being featured this Wednesday. Sarah is a mother of five children and blogs over at Clover Lane. She was recently nominated as the "Best Blog for Deliberate Moms."

We're excited for you to see all of Sarah's thoughts on motherhood on Wednesday. And in the meantime, we thought you might want to take a look at some of our favorite posts from her blog:

The Best Behavior Modification Secret

What Not to Regret

A Home's Energy

Cross Your Arms

A Long Letter to a New Mom

Questions to Ask Ourselves

Our Girls - Growing Up Too Fast

Stop by Sarah's blog, and let us know what you think.

And be sure to come back on Wednesday to hear more of Sarah's thoughts on motherhood.

My Little Stinker Caused a Stink

2011-08-11T06:00:00.002-04:00

This hole is in our master bathroom. The toilet paper holder used to be there until a little helper (most likely our 3-year-old, Miles) yanked it out of the wall.

It was already broken, and we can't really trust our kids with toilet paper these days, so we didn't replace the toilet paper holder. For now, we're keeping the TP out of reach of toddlers. (And we're crazy busy trying to update the rest of our house - you know - the parts that people might actually see? So our master bathroom is about as low on the project list as it can get. )

For about a week, I'd noticed a terrible smell coming from our bathroom. I cleaned the shower, I washed the towels, I scrubbed the toilet, I cleaned the floor - but it still smelled terrible.

And then I finally looked in the hole...

Miles loves trash. He has an obsession. So his job whenever I change diapers is to put them in the trash for me. He loves this! And I guess instead of taking them to the trash, he was taking them to the hole in my bathroom.

What crazy things have your kids been up to this summer?

Anna Luther, mother of three

Mom Feature: Meet Ginger

2011-08-10T06:00:00.000-04:00

Meet Ginger

Hi! I'm Ginger. I'm a wife, mother to 5, sister, daughter and friend. I've been blogging for four years, and I love keeping a journal of our family. I recently started my own craft blog, Ginger Snap Crafts. I love to blog, decorate, garden, create and, most of all, be with my family.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I feel like I'm doing the best when I see my children give a talk in church, play in their band concert at school, receive awards at Scouts, Cub Scouts or school, being kind to their siblings, making good choices, being kind to a friend, helping unload the groceries, doing their chores without having to be asked, singing in a school program. It's times like this that I think, "Yes, we're doing a pretty good job with these kiddos."

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
Ummmm...when we are running late to an activity, and we are all getting grouchy, can't find our shoes....it's times like this I just have to remind myself it's OK if we are late, take a deep breath and calm down. Another not fun mom moment is fighting in the car. Drives me crazy. Again, I take deep breaths and try not to get upset. :)

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
How much I would love and enjoy my children. How much my life would change. How much I would love being a mom. How little sleep I would get. :)

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
It depends on the child. For my younger ones, I'll wrap them up in their blankie and rock them. For my older ones, I usually send them to their room, and then have them come back when their happy. It usually doesn't take too long.

What have your children taught you?
How to love, how to have fun, how to laugh and enjoy life.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
I'll miss the cuddles, the kisses, being their whole world, being able to fix all their problems and the time being together with just our little family.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?
This is my favorite quote on motherhood. I have it posted at the top of our family blog, and I read it just about everyday. I reminds me to treasure every single moment of being a mother and not rush from one thing to the next.

Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said:

“The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”(Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).

You can follow Ginger and her family at her blog: http://gingersnapcrafts.blogspot.com.

Pre School Jitters?

2011-08-09T00:01:00.002-04:00

5 ideas to help your kids feel ready for school.

Mom Feature: Meet Danielle

2011-08-03T12:45:00.000-04:00

Meet Danielle

My name is Danielle Harper, and I am a stay-at-home mom to two beautiful little girls. My husband and I got married in June of 2007 - a short 9 months after we first met. Soon after that I became preggers with baby number one, and she arrived April 30, 2008. As soon as I looked into her eyes I knew there was no way I could leave her to go back to work as a bank teller, and that is when I become a stay-at-home mom.

Baby number two arrived April 30, 2010..... I bet that date looks familiar. Yup - both my girls were born on April 30th, and yes, it occurred naturally. No planned c-sections or anything like that, my body must just like April 30th.

Soon after my youngest arrived I started browsing around blogs and thought it would be fun to start my own, and so I did! And so Happenings of the Harper Household was born. It's almost like my third baby, hehe. I love writing about our life and my choices of being a breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth diapering mama and there are always reviews and giveaways that match our lifestyle - think fluff and lots of it!

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
This question is simple. I feel like I'm doing the best job as a mom when my kids are happy. Yes, the sink may be overflowing with dishes. There might be mountains of laundry in every bedroom. Toys may be scattered throughout the house. Cheerios might be stomped into the carpeting. Maybe you can even write your name in the dust on the TV screen. But if they are happy, then none of that matters.I would much rather take my kids to the park or go out for ice cream than worry about the state of my house. They will only be little once and the dishes will be there forever.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
This question is hard. I think I feel like I'm doing the worst job when mommy guilt sets in..... for example if I buy one munchkin a new toy and I don't buy one for the other, then I feel awful! Ok, and I will be honest, sometimes when the kiddos are having a rough day and the only thing I hear is crying and screaming sometimes I just want to escape for a little while, and it makes me feel awful that I just want to get away from them for a few hours.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?

Hmmmm...... well the entire time I was pregnant with DD2, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to love another baby as much as I loved DD1. This was a constant worry. I was so afraid when they handed her to me that I would just want DD1 in my arms. I couldn't have been more wrong. As soon as DD2 was placed in my arms my eyes flooded with happy tears, and it felt like she had been part of our family forever. I now know there is enough room in my heart for as many babies as the Lord will bless me with.

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
One word - OUTSIDE. If I utter that one word a meltdown will almost stop instantly. Of course it might help that our back yard looks like Little Tikes world - what can I say, I'm a garage saling mama that always seems to score an awesome deal, hehe. This has pretty much worked for my oldest since she was only a few weeks old. If she was really fussy, we would go outside and walk around a bit and she was happy as can be.

What have your children taught you?
To enjoy the moment because once it passes it will be gone forever.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
Everything. The smiles, tantrums, giggles, hugs, slobbery kisses. I will most definitely miss the adorable sumo wrestler stance that DD2 always does and hearing DD1 call me "mama"...... I dread the day it becomes "mother."

Is there anything else you'd like to add?
Thanks for letting me share a small glimpse into my life with you..... if I've caught your interest be sure to come visit me at www.HappeningsoftheHarperHousehold.net

Cooking with Kids: Easy Peanut Butter Cookies

2011-08-01T07:00:00.000-04:00

My kids love to help in the kitchen! And this is my favorite recipe to make with them. It's simple, it's quick, and the cookies are delicious.

Easy Peanut Butter Cookies

1 Cup Peanut Butter
1 Cup Sugar
1 Egg
Sugar (for rolling cookies)

Mix the ingredients together. Roll 1 tbsp of cookie dough into a boll and roll it in sugar.

Repeat.

Place dough balls on ungreased cookie sheet. Pat down with fork.

Bake at 350 for 8 minutes.

How easy is that?

Enjoy!

Note: This recipe was taken from the Small Fries Cookbook. It's chock full of wonderful, simple recipes that you can make with your kids! Learn more at smallfriescookbook.com.

Anna Luther, mother of three

Mom Feature: Meet Kristen

2011-07-27T07:00:00.000-04:00

Meet Kristen

Kristen and her husband live in North Carolina and are new parents to baby Eliana. Kristen shares it all on her blog, Oh Happy Miracle. Once you start reading, you'll fall in love with this family - who aren't afraid to share the good, the bad and the ugly - from their struggle with infertility to their new lives as parents. Kristen's honesty will keep you coming back day after day.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
On the negative side, women can tell you over and over about the sleep deprivation, but until you're in the trenches of being a new parent, it's impossible to understand. I would always nod my head yes when a mother would talk about the lack of sleep-- almost dismissing what they were saying-- but MAN, it's NO JOKE!

I remember several days nodding my head off while breastfeeding. John would call my name to wake me up, and I would throw my head back up completely freaked out!

On the positive side, I was always a little scared of being a mother. I know that sounds crazy if you know our history of infertility and how hard we fought to become parents. But there was a piece of me that feared being a bad mother. Luckily I proved those fears wrong and have eased into parenting with complete confidence. I was meant to do this!

What do you think prepared you the most for becoming a mom?
My sister has twins that just so happen to being turning 1 year old in July. Because I didn't really grow up around children, I was lucky enough to spend some quality time with them in this past year. It has definitely been a godsend these past 8 weeks to prepare me for what lies ahead.

You've been open about your struggle with infertility. What advice would you give to other women who are going through the same thing?
Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you need to feel to get through this journey. Don't EVER question your feelings no matter what people tell you. If you're pissed, be pissed. If you're sad, be sad.

The one thing that most women come to me about is the guilt that they feel for being "Debbie Downer" all the time. I always allowed myself to feel what came natural. I had hopeful days and days where I just wanted to lie in bed and forget about everything. BE YOU! You did not ask for this! And last but not least, do not take "no" for an answer. A doctor told us that we would never have children. Look at us now!

What is your "typical" day like these days?
For some reason, by the grace of God, my child is already on a sleep schedule! I know, crazy huh? While her naps are a little sporadic, Eliana wakes up every morning at 6:30am. I scoop her up and we lie in bed until about 8:30am. During this time we both lay in the bed and I feed her throughout the two-hr period. I jump in the shower, before John leaves for work, and then we have playtime for as long as she likes while she's laying on the bed playing with her toys.

I try to spend a lot of time with my parents because they keep my sisters twins three days a week. So we usually pack up the car and spend the day over there. If that doesn't happen, then we do a lot of singing and a lot of dancing around the house-- with poopie diapers and feedings mixed in of course :)

I work from home, so somewhere between 1pm-3pm she usually takes a 3 hour nap. During this time I scramble like a crazy lady to straighten the house, catch up on work, and if I'm lucky, I may even have 5 seconds to brush my teeth! Ahhhhhh!

We were spending a ton of time outside on the swing, but because the North Carolina heat is INSANE in July, we've had a leave of absence recently. So, we bounce around the house for the next few hours, with a few cries and smiles in between.

John gets home around 6:30pm-7pm and because my husband is amazing, he cooks dinner so I can tend to Eliana. Anywhere between 9:30pm-10:30pm, Eliana falls asleep for the night. She typically sleeps through the night, but a few nights a week, she will wake up around 3:30am-4:00am for a quick 10 minute feeding and then she's down again until 6:30am. And then we start all over again :)

What are you looking forward to the most as Eliana grows up?
I'm looking forward to the little things in life, like driving in the car and both of us singing at the top of our lungs with the window down, or dancing in the living room and making daddy laugh with our crazy routines. But, most importantly, Eliana coming to me for advice. I want her to know that I will ALWAYS be here for her and that I will never judge her.

Follow Kristen and her family at www.ohhappymiracle.com.

Documenting Your Kids' Lives

2011-07-25T06:00:00.001-04:00

When my brother and I were little, my mom filled journals with the funny things we said and the milestones that we reached. When we were a little older, she would read us the funny stories. I cherish these journals.

Now that I'm a mom myself, I want my kids to feel as special as I did when my mom would read to me from her journal. And these days, there are so many ways to record our memories and document our childrens' lives, that it can be downright overwhelming.

A few of my favorites are below.

Memory Box
In my opinion, no matter how you record your memories, you also will want to include a memory box. I have a plastic box with a lid in each child's closet. I periodically toss in items that are special - cards they receive, the outfit they wore home from the hospital, Miles's preemie diapers to show how small he was... you get the idea.

Traditional Baby Books
It worked for our parents, right? Well, sort of. My older brother's baby book is full - complete with locks of hair from his first haircut and pictures pasted in from every month of his first year. My book? I think my name is written on the cover, and that's all.

I had high hopes for a baby book when Miles was born, but I quickly realized that I didn't want to conform to someone else's ideas of what I should record and what I shouldn't. And who can handle printing all those pictures?

Journals or Diaries
If you love to write, tracking favorite stories or funny things your kids said in a journal is a great way to document their lives. You could always paste in a favorite photo here and there or tuck in one of your favorite art projects. Ideally you'd be disciplined enough to track things on a fairly regular basis (kids change so quickly!) but even just a few stories and quotes can be meaningful when your kids are grown.

Facebook
If you're someone that updates their status regularly, you might already be documenting your child's life. Take a look at your wall and go back a year or two. Chances are you've already recorded that first step, first word, first haircut - and all the funny things they've said since. You can always print your wall or take screenshots for a paper record.

Blogs
An obvious option is to start a blog. Blogger offers free blogs, and you don't need to know a thing about HTML to get started. Blogs are a great way for you to post your favorite photos, videos and stories that you don't want to forget. They're also a great way to share your life with out-of-town family and friends.

If you're nervous about posting information on the web, you can password protect your blog and only allow certain people to view it. You can also protect your children by using their first initial or making up fake names for them on the blog.

My favorite thing about using blogs as baby books is that with a click of a button, you can turn your blog into a book. Blurb.com is my favorite tool for doing this. You download their software, follow the easy step-by-step instructions, and your blog becomes a book - pictures and all. You can customize the cover and order it in hard cover or paperback - and it's not overly expensive. This would be a great thing to do once a year or so as a special gift for your child.

Photo Books
It seems that every photo software program lets you create your own photo books these days. It's a great annual project to document your lives. It's also a great way to remember a specific vacation or special birthday since the photo books can be short and sweet too.

Monthly Letters
Writing a letter to your child each month can be a fun way to record what's happening in their lives and in yours. Whether you send it to them in an email, write it in a journal, print it for their baby book or memory box or post it on your blog, it's truly a special gift for your child.

Annual Keepsakes
A friend of mine paints an ornament for each of her children during the holidays to symbolize one big thing that happened during the past year. For one child it might be starting kindergarten, for another it might be learning to ride a bike. The ornaments become part of the family tradition and will be keepsakes for years to come.

I can't paint, but I write a book about our family each year. I include all of the major things that happened, and I mail them to our friends and family as holiday cards. I also print one for each child and toss it in their memory box. (Click here to see the books I've written so far.)

Email
Create a free email account for your child and send them emails throughout their lives. You can attach pictures, tell funny stories, include videos - whatever you want. And one day - when you decide it's time - you give your child the password to read every email you've sent them throughout their lives. How amazing is that?

I know I've barely scratched the surface here. How do you record your family's memories?

Anna Luther, mother of three

Mom Feature: Meet Anna

2011-07-21T06:30:00.000-04:00

Meet Anna

Hi, My name is Anna, and I've had the great privilege of guest posting at Productive Parenting for the past several weeks.

I am a (newly) stay-at-home mom to three kids. Miles is 3, Alice is 2 and Simon is 5 months. I married my college sweetheart, Matt - and we have a very large dog named Benson.

When I'm not busy taking care of my three kids or writing for Productive Parenting, I write about my kids, my life and my house at my blog: My Life and Kids.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I feel like I'm doing my best job when I'm completely focused on my kids. Whether we're reading books, doing a Productive Parenting activity, dancing in the kitchen, playing with sensory trays or taking a walk - I'm doing my best job when I'm not distracted. I try really hard to stay away from the computer, the phone and the television when my kids are awake.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
I always know when I'm doing my worst job because my kids let me know it. When I'm on the phone or trying to sneak in a quick email check during the day - they act out and try to get my attention.

And I know I'm doing my worst job when I'm less than patient or get frustrated by little-kid messes. (Usually when I haven't had enough sleep.)

And I feel like I'm doing my worst job when the house isn't clean, and the laundry hasn't been put away. Even though I know those things don't matter as much as spending time with the kids, I feel like a better mom when I have a clean house (and clean clothes).

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
Every single thing surprised me. I wanted to be a mom so badly, but I never really went down the path of what that would mean. I was shocked when Miles was born (early), and I had to feed him every two hours, 24/7 for the first five weeks of his life.

I was also surprised when I started staying home with my kids full-time. I had a picture in my mind of my husband coming home every night to a spotless house, the kids playing quietly and me in the kitchen preparing some fabulous dinner that we would all sit down and eat together. Not a chance! The house is messier than it has ever been, thanks to my messy little kids. I rarely have dinner planned when Matt gets home from work, and playing quietly? Not my kids! And although it's not what I expected, I'm absolutely loving it!

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
First - we eat something. My kids' meltdowns are almost always caused by hunger (or lack of sleep). After eating, we usually try to go outside. If that's not possible, then we read books or get out the craft bag. I keep it stocked with stickers, paper, glue, safety scissors, bingo dotters and other fun, crafty stuff - the kids love it. We listen to music or sometimes we just pile into the minivan and drive around for awhile. When all else fails, we watch Mickey Mouse.

What have your children taught you?
They've taught me that I don't need as much sleep as I once thought I did. They've taught me to slow down. And they've shown me what a wonderful father my husband is.

I love watching him interact with the kids. The first thing he does when he comes home after a long day at work is sit down on the family room floor and let the kids crawl all over him and they tell each other about their days. I love seeing my husband as a father!

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
I will miss their unending energy and enthusiasm. I'll miss being able to make them laugh all the time. I'll miss waking up to little faces peering over my mattress. I'll miss having two cribs in the house. I'll miss stroller walks and bedtime snuggles. I think I'll miss pretty much everything - but I know there will be great times when they're older too... right?

You can follow Anna and her family at her blog: www.mylifeandkids.com

Want to make your child feel special?

2011-07-19T07:30:00.002-04:00

Take her on a date. Read more at Parenting.com.

A Creative Use for Diaper Boxes

2011-07-18T06:00:00.000-04:00

I've had at least one child in diapers for nearly four years.

I've had two kids in diapers for over two years.

That's a lot of diapers. And a lot of diaper boxes!

I used to keep the diaper boxes for storing baby clothes - and they were a huge help for packing when we moved. And then they just were annoying, and they started going straight out to the recycling bin.

Until I saw what this mom of three boys was doing with her diaper boxes...

She tapes them back together, and they become giant blocks for her three boys to build houses or towers or whatever they want.

Such a creative idea! You can bet I'm not recycling anymore of my diaper boxes!

Anna Luther, mother of three

Mom Feature: Meet Kelly

2011-07-13T06:00:00.000-04:00

Meet Kelly

I'm a Southern girl who is so thankful for my life. All I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother, and I had to wait until I was 35 to get both and I feel so blessed. I have a great husband and two beautiful little girls. I love SEC football, reality TV, Sonic vanilla diet cokes, big bows and smocked dresses, and laughing with friends. My biggest passion is my faith and relationship with Jesus Christ.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I feel like I'm doing my best job when we have a good day with a lot of smiles and few meltdowns, when we have fun and laugh and my daughter says "Thank you" and smiles a lot.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
Almost every day. Ha! Discipline is hard, and when my two year old acts out and says "NO!" and throws tantrums in public - I feel like a complete mess of a mom. I'm quick to lose my patience daily and that REALLY makes me feel terrible.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
How hard it is. I waited a long time to be a mom, so I used to day dream about how wonderful it would be and how clean my house would be because I would have so much free time as a stay at home mom. I never knew how physically exhausting it could be. I also never know how WONDERFUL it would be or how much I could love my children.

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
This is probably not the best answer - but I'm big on distractions. So videos or games on my iPhone usually keep Harper from having meltdowns. That or snacks. Ha!

What have your children taught you?
They have taught me patience. They have also taught me to put myself last and to put their needs way above mine. They have taught me unconditional love.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
I will miss the snuggles. I will miss holding them in my arms, and the joy of hearing them say "I love you" and knowing they think I'm the greatest thing. I feel pretty sure as teenagers they may not feel the same way. I will miss watching them discover new things, and seeing the excitement in their eyes over everything.

You can follow Kelly and her family at her blog: www.kellyskornerblog.com

2011-07-12T09:59:00.001-04:00

Ever wonder what your imapct is as a parent?

More Fake Tacos and Tea, Please

2011-07-11T13:16:00.000-04:00

I've been a stay-at-home mom for nine months now, and I finally feel like I'm getting into the swing of things. I'm (somewhat) confident that I can predict the times that will be the hardest (10 am is usually tough for us). I can easily discern which cries are real and which are fake. I know when I need to do something immediately to change things up or risk losing everything to tantrums and tears. I know if they don't eat at certain times, then the grumpies will kick in.

And I know what I need to do for myself each day to feel fulfilled. I know I need to go to bed with a clean kitchen, or I'll be grumpy in the morning. I know I need to get dressed before I come downstairs - or risk not being able to get dressed until naptime. I know that I need to eat when the kids eat - even though it's tempting to use that time to pick up or check email. I know that the best days are the ones where we don't turn on the television. Where we spend some time outside, regardless of the weather. When I'm not on the phone or the computer or trying to sneak in some cleaning while they play.

It takes a lot of energy to stay at home. Not just the cooking and the cleaning and diaper changing - it's more than just that. I set the mood and the spirit for the day. If I am happy and enthusiastic, then they are happy and enthusiastic. If I am silly, then they are silly.

And, unfortunately, if I am distracted - they are (usually) naughty. If I am moody or less than excited, then they are too. On the days when I'm off, there are more tears, tantrums and whining than on the other days. They need me to be happy and positive - even if I'm faking it.

And some days I have to try really, really hard to be enthusiastic. I mean, let's be honest. Even when I know the best cure for the fussies is some fresh air and time outside, that doesn't mean that I'm always excited to put on rain boots and find umbrellas so we can splash in puddles. But we do.

And there are days that I would much rather be reading a book or chatting on the phone, but instead I'm eating fake tacos and drinking fake tea - and trying really hard to summon the energy to be an engaged, deliberate mother .

And I do it because I know the day will come (far too quickly) when all I'll want is to take three little kids splashing through the puddles. I'll be craving fake tacos and tea. I'll be begging my husband to play Candyland with me before bed. As long as some days can seem, the months and years are flying by. And these little kids are going to be grown before I know it.

Anna Luther, mother of three

Mom Feature: Meet Justine

2011-07-06T12:52:00.010-04:00

Meet Justine Binkowski

Hi! I'm Justine. I'm a stay at home mama to my 2-1/2 year-old son, Logan. Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, I was a special education teacher and then a fourth grade teacher. I really liked teaching, but being a mom is where it is at (at least for me).

My husband and I have been married for five years, but together for 10. We started dating when I was 18, however, we were in the same kindergarten class together. He moved away and we met again as teenagers. We also share our home with two cats who are adored and spoiled by all members of the family. They are rescues from the Humane Society.

My blog, You'll Thank Me One Day, is mostly is about my little guy and the activities that we do during the week. In my blog, you will find some crafts. We also do a great deal of open-ended art activities. I also am starting to create play centers, and I am beginning to start alphabet themes. I also include some stories about experiences in Logan's life and the funny things that he does or says.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I truly love being a mother. It makes me so happy when I see Logan happy, learning, laughing and thriving. I try very hard to provide a loving and safe environment where he can discover, learn, and play. I think that children learn through play and real life experiences so when I am encouraging him in those things, I feel like I am doing my best job as a mom.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
I feel I am doing my worst job when I am letting outside stress or anxiety influence me. Sometimes my preoccupation does not allow for me to be as actively engaged as I would like to be. It is during these times that I feel as though I can become more easily frustrated with behavior that I know is often developmentally appropriate. I am definitely mindful of those times and am working hard to insulate our relationship from moments like that, but it is not always easy.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
Before having kids I would imagine my hypothetical children. I used to think things like, "When I have kids, I'm never going to....." or "my kids will never......." I am just grateful that I didn't share these feelings out loud (often).

Looking back now, I see how unbelievably ignorant (and kind of obnoxious) I was with my imagined view of parenthood and children. I just had no idea what it was like to have kids, even though I was a teacher and had been attending school to learn all about them. Everything changed once I actually had a child. I didn't understand how much one little person could change your world and your heart in just a matter of moments. My sweet little guy may watch television sometimes and occasionally cry in restaurants, but he completely eclipses my hypothetical perfect children.

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way?
I have a few. Sensory bins are a big hit in our house. They seem to have magic calming effects. Occasionally, I will break out the paint. My son is a painting fanatic. He can't get enough. Finally, if he just isn't having any of that, there are always bubbles..... that I blow inside the house. Shhhhh..... don't tell my husband!

What has your son taught you?
I have learned so much! One big thing that my son has taught me is to take time and cherish the little things. We, as big people, often take for granted things that do not go unnoticed by children. Now I stop and relish the little things like a gorgeous flower in my garden, my favorite song on the radio, or how stinking adorable kids in footie pajamas are (add some bedhead and my heart melts even more).

What will you miss the most about these years with a young child?
I'm going to miss all those little moments. I'll miss the way my son will run up to me and wrap his arms around my legs. I'll miss the request to read another story before bedtime, and the splashes in the bathtub. I'll miss the silliness and the snuggles. I try to soak up every minute.

You can follow Justine and her family on her blog: http://youllthankmeoneday.blogspot.com/

Mom Feature: Meet Daysha

2011-06-30T10:52:00.001-04:00

Meet Daysha Behymer

I am Daysha Behymer. I have the very big privilege to be the stay-at-home-momma to Lyndon, 3, and Denton, now 4 months (born Feb. '11). Both of my boys were born prematurely. Of course that was not our plan, but we hold on to the truth that it was God's plan for them. Due to their prematurity we have become involved with The March of Dimes, a wonderful organization who exists to help prevent premature births.

In August I will have been married to my best friend for seven years. I graduated from the University of Oklahoma, and I am so lucky to have married a guy who loves OU football as much as I do. One of my very favorite things to do with my husband is go to OU football games. My blog is Behymer Business at http://behymerbusiness.blogspot.com/.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I am going to say that I feel like I have "done" my best as a mom is when I see my oldest son practicing something we've been working on. For example: when he shares his toys with others with a cheerful heart. Another moment is when he is asked to do something/not to do something and he obeys right away - what we call obeying first time. In both of those situations I have a feeling of accomplishment, what we've been working on is actually clicking with him.

I feel like I'm "doing" my best as a mom when it's a difficult moment with behavior and I am able to have patience and self control and address the heart issue - not just the chosen behavior. Patience is the key in these moments. I don't want to be a mom calling out commands and saying "don't do that." I want to mold my children's hearts. But in the moment of disobedience and frustration, that can be hard. It requires me getting my strength from God to be the mom I want to be. So when I am able to do this, I feel like I'm doing my best job.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
Going hand in hand with when I feel I'm being my best, I feel I'm doing my worst when I am inpatient, short and unkind to my son. I feel as if that isn't helping the disobedient behavior in the long run when I can't calmly address it and speak to his heart of why that action was not obedient.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
One quickly comes to mind - the temptation to compare your kid to other kids, and now comparing my two as well. In normal conversations between mommies you talk about what your kiddo is doing, etc. The moment you hear of another kid, who's your kid's same age, doing something that yours isn't doing yet can make you feel like something is wrong, or you've already failed. I think I would have been prepared for this struggle during school age/teenage years but I wasn't prepared for this struggle at the infant age.

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way?
The activity I turn to for me is PRAYER!! It's the best thing I've got. And unfortunately I don't go to it often or soon enough. In the moments when I feel like I'm in the downward spiral, I've got to stop and pray for patience, wisdom, self control and kindness. It's no coincidence that the things we want our children to have is what we need as well.

Since bringing home our newborn, I have to be honest and say that my go to activity for my son, once the chaos had already broken loose, is TV. I know it's a season for us so I need to give myself some slack, but I don't like that being my source. But it's true. In moments when I have it more together, when chaos is about to break loose (or already has) for my son, timeout is the activity I choose. I feel it gives my son a moment to get self control, have to be away from any so-called fun and hopefully/eventually think about the choice he made that resulted in timeout. Also, the timeout is another go-to for me to gather myself as well.

What have your children taught you?
Joy for sure. I tell ya, this little boy of mine is full of joy. I've learned from him how to have joy even in what looks like unjoyful moments. Which we all know there are many of those in our lives today. So being able to live a life with joy is a life worth living in my book.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
Oh gosh I don't even want to go there. Seriously, I don't know if I can even answer this question. Being that I am a mother of small children at this time, I have to say I will miss all of this. Every bit of what my days consist of right now I think I will miss. Gosh, I know I will even miss the tough discipline moments, because these are moments they still need me and I can still direct them before major bad choices are made. Come on, please tell me they will always be young children, come on.

You can follow Daysha and her family on her blog: http://behymerbusiness.blogspot.com/.

Share Your Toys (But Not All of Them)

2011-06-27T07:00:00.003-04:00

With the summer stretched out before us, I decided to jump right in and host a playdate. I filled up the kiddie pool, dug out the sprinkler and mixed up some lemonade (with helpers by my side).

With 15 toddlers and their moms just moments away, Miles took Alice's Minnie Mouse. Massive, ear-shattering temper tantrum ensued.

Alice recovered quickly and grabbed "Mr. Bear." Massive, ear-shattering temper tantrum ensued - this time by Miles. And I had a flash of everything that could go wrong at the playdate.

What if my kids don't share their toys? How will they react if another child wants to play with Minnie Mouse or Mr. Bear?

I sat Miles and Alice down for a pep talk. I explained my expectations for the playdate (which always goes over well with a 2 and 3-year-old.)

Miles: "They're going to want to play with my toys? But I love my toys."

Alice made her signature pouty face.

And so I told them that they needed to share all of their toys, except for one.

They were each allowed to choose a special toy to hide during the playdate. Mr. Bear was lovingly placed on a shelf of the closet, and Minnie Mouse was tucked away in a drawer just as people were knocking on the door.

With the special toys hidden away, I was able to relax knowing that Miles and Alice didn't have strong enough ties to the other toys to care about kids playing with them. And Miles and Alice were more than happy to share everything - knowing that their favorites were tucked away.

Anna Luther, mother of three

Mom Feature: Meet Amanda

2011-06-22T07:41:00.000-04:00

Meet Amanda Yocum.

Hi, I'm Amanda. I'm a 31-year-old, stay-at-home mom who loves to sew, cook, and relax with family and friends. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for seven. We met at Baylor University.

We have two boys - James is 2 1/2 and Patrick is 9 months. I was a third grade teacher and loved it, but being a mother and wife is my passion.

In all my free time (yeah, right), I write a blog: My Mommies Favorite Finds. I started writing this blog for my friends, so that I didn't have to email them 1,000 times a day about my favorite finds.

I am a busy stay-at-home mom, and I would not change it for the world!

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?

When I can see my children learning, using good manners and giving hugs and kisses. When stress has not come over me. At the end of the day when they are safe tucked in their bed with smiles.

I try not to say no without a reason, like why say no to rolling down the car window or why not eat your snack in a the den on the floor and have your food in a toy truck? Or why not drink your milk with a silly straw? I like the silly.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?

When I have said "yes" to everything but my family. I have a hard time saying no, if it is sewing, Facebook, watching TV, helping friends or family.

I feel like I'm doing my worst job as a mom when at the end of the day, I think, "hmmm... I should have played on the floor more or closed the laptop."

What surprised you the most about motherhood?

The instant love that I had for my children - and now understanding the love my parents have for me. I was also surprised at what hard work it is to be a stay-at-home mom. I was not warned about the 2.5/3 year-old age - wow it is a doozy!

What is your go-to activity when kids are melting down around you?

We love playing with uncooked rice and noodles, going in the backyard and playing with the hose, playing in the water/sand table. Patrick loves using his walker outside and loves to watch James do anything and everything. And, to be totally honest, when all else fails, I turn on Yo Gabba Gabba.

What have your children taught you?

Patience. Unconditional love no matter what I look like, no matter how horrible my singing voice.... And they think I am beautiful and hysterical, ha!! They remind me to laugh.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?

I will miss the "nuggle nuggle" snuggles, the way they look at their daddy, the "hold you, hold you" "prayers one more time" the giggle monsters, morning cartoon time in the "big bed".

You can follow Amanda and her family on her blog: http://mymommiesfavoritefinds-yocumotion.blogspot.com/

Sensory Trays Keep the Meltdowns Away

2011-06-20T13:18:00.001-04:00

In our neck of the woods, rain is in the forecast for the next several days. With three little kids at home, I always try to have some quick and engaging activities in my back pocket.

Today, after we had already played with playdoh, read books, played upstairs, downstairs and all around - the children started melting down around me. I had to do something fast.

I grabbed some popcorn kernels, uncooked pasta, buttons, cars and foam shapes. (You could use rice or oatmeal or anything like that from your pantry.) I dumped them into two of my round cake pans, and we had instant sensory trays.

Miles and Alice loved them.

They drove their cars through the popcorn. They scooped and dumped with cups. They picked out all of the buttons and sorted them on the table. They separated the foam shapes. They put everything back together and started all over again.

And when naptime came, I swept everything back into the cake pans and covered them with saran wrap (to keep everything from falling out). They'll be a great thing to pull out the rest of this week when the rain keeps us inside.

What are your favorite rainy day activities?

Anna Luther, mom of three

Mom Feature: Meet Melanie

2011-06-15T14:44:00.002-04:00

Meet Melanie Hansbauer

Hi, I'm Melanie. I'm a stay-at-home mom to three children under 4 and no, I'm not crazy. Our children are Greta (age 3 and a half), Otto (age 2) and Selma (3 months). Before we had kids, I taught at a Montessori school for six years and did home visitation with first-time moms for two years. Currently I am an adjunct professor at Xavier University in their Montessori education program.

We live in Newport, KY. And even though sometimes I get envious of my friends' finished basements and sprawling backyards, and even though sometimes I get frustrated by our 100-year-old house and all its aches and pains, I love living in an urban setting. We can walk to local pizza places and local ice cream shops. We can take a stroller ride to the Reds game or the purple people bridge.

What else? I'm married to my high school sweetheart. We started dating when I was 14 and he was 16, and the rest is history.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?

I think I'm doing my best job as a mom when it's 8 pm and everyone's asleep. Just kidding.

One really big part of the the Montessori philosophy is remembering to 'follow the child'. For instance, when Otto was about 15 months old, all he wanted to do was climb up and down the stairs. Literally.....all.he.wanted.to.do. So I told myself that there must be something within him, some sort of inner drive that he needed to fulfill. I needed to recognize that this was a skill he was working on right now, and rather than fight it (which I wanted to), it would serve us both to just go with it and help him on the stairs. Not only did it help him learn to maneuver the stairs more quickly, but I think it moved him through the phase of wanting to be on the stairs because it went from being off limits to something that was encouraged (and therefore not as much fun).

Or when Greta was around 2 and a half and she wanted to spend every moment upstairs in her room, changing in and out of clothes like a teenager getting ready for her first date. I decided to think of it as her 'needing' to change her clothes. She was definitely working on the skills of getting dressed and undressed by herself and what better way to work on that than to change your clothes 10 times a day?

I realize that this idea of following the child isn't always possible, but it's definitely when I feel I'm at my best. When I look at my children - really look - and really listen to not only their words but their actions and the meaning behind them.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?

When life gets in the way and that idea of 'follow the child' becomes impossible, or at least starts to feel impossible. When I say things like, "let's not get that toy out right now" because it's too much trouble to put away. When someone spills their drink for the third time at lunch, and I roll my eyes and sigh with exasperation instead of just laughing it off.

I feel like I'm at my worst when I let worries and stresses from other aspects of life spill over into how I treat my children. If I'm worried about a commitment I have in the evening, sometimes I am distracted all day long and find myself being short with them or more easily frustrated.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I can FEEL that it's going to be an off day, for whatever reason. And on those days, I lay in bed for a minute and think to myself, "I will make this a good day for my children". I think this over and over. I think about the day and about activities we can do or things I can say or not say to change the course. I try to WILL the day to be a good one. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it helps me get in the right state of mind.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?

What hard work it is. Am I right? Being a mother is so rewarding, but man is it exhausting.

I think right now I'm finding it hard to balance motherhood with other aspects of my life, and that's definitely something that no one told me would happen. It's hard to find time to go to the gym or have dinner with friends or read a good book. Sometimes it's difficult to find time to shower or even go to the bathroom. I never really thought about what would happen to the rest of me when I became a mom. That said, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I get comments all the time about how crazy I must be for having three children so close in age, but I feel so very blessed.

What is your go-to activity when kids are melting down around you?

An all-out dance party. Nothing breaks the mood more than turning music up loud and shaking it - all parties included. By the time you boogie to a few songs, everyone forgets what was about to cause that tantrum in the first place.

Also, with my kids, it's almost always being hungry or tired that causes those meltdowns. So sometimes we just need a snack, even if it's 30 minutes before dinnertime. Or a little rest on the couch or in our beds, even if we just got up.

Going outside, playing in water and playing with playdoh are also some good meltdown-avoiders for our family.

What have your children taught you?

Not to be so caught up in what other people think.

Like it or not, oftentimes I'm someone who gets worried about what other people think. Is my house clean when someone stops by? Should I wear my workout clothes to the library again? etc etc. Truth is, my kids don't care about any of those things. Truth is, they think I'm awesome. They don't mind if the toilet needs scrubbed or if I need to comb my hair or any of that stuff.

Okay fine, Greta told me the other night that I "smelled sweaty", but most of the time they think I hung the moon. And if they think so highly of me, then I should think highly of myself as well.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?

I think I'll miss all those moments that seem so small and so mundane... brushing clean hair after a bath, reading that last book before bed, holding their hand on a neighborhood walk. I'm so excited to watch our children grow and to see who they will become. Our neighbor was sitting outside the other evening with her grown son, just having dinner and talking and laughing. I know that will be really special too, but it's the tiny moments of their childhood that I think I'll miss.

You can follow Melanie and her family on her blog: www.hansbauerbaby.blogspot.com

The Perfect Toy for Children of All Ages

2011-06-13T08:10:00.000-04:00

Ever since my oldest child became mobile, I began the search for the perfect toy. You know the one I mean? The one that would consume him. That would occupy his attention for hours at a time. The toy that he would want to play with on his own -while I did whatever I wanted. ~~Read a book~~, ~~check email~~, ~~call my friends~~, clean the kitchen, make dinner, fold laundry...

I thought it was the ball popper. Then I thought it was the train table and wooden train set. Then I thought it was the kitchen or maybe the plastic washer and dryer. Or maybe it was the janitor set or the dump truck or that great USA puzzle.

Three and a half years (and two more kids) later, I have finally found the perfect toy. It's guaranteed to keep them busy for hours. It occupies their attention. They want to play with it all the time.

It's me.

All these kids want is for me to listen to them, snuggle with them, play with them, talk to them. Every toy becomes the perfect toy when I'm playing too (and sometimes stays the perfect toy for awhile after I'm finished playing). They want to know that I hear them. They want me to call them silly and tickle their toes and host dance parties in the kitchen after naps. They want me to sit down at the table and eat lunch with them and pull them around in the wagon and draw on the sidewalk with them.

So my search for the perfect toy is over - I'm here - let the fun begin.

Anna Luther, mom of three

Big Fan of the "Do-Over"

2011-05-31T12:59:00.001-04:00

As I sit here with sore muscles from running my second half-marathon in just six days’ time, I contemplate why I would do such a thing to myself. Then I realize that I wanted a “Do-Over.” My first effort last week was far short of my personal goal, so I needed a chance to redeem myself! Something I’ve become quite facile with in my parenting journey!

How many times do we as parents go down that slippery slope of disrespect with our children out of frustration, impatience or failure to take into account their perspective? There’s always an excuse and frankly we are imperfectly human parents. But I’ve got to say that when I catch myself drifting to the dark side, I am a huge proponent of the “Do-Over” or “Rewind”. At times we really wish we had that magic short-term memory eraser powder that Billy Crystal’s character used so handily in the blockbuster smash hit, “The Tooth Fairy.” But we can’t. So the next best thing (besides prevention itself) is to back-up and start over.

Just a few days ago, I was cringing inside watching my exuberant 7-year-old licking microwaved melted marshmallow from a paper plate (her latest dessert invention). As all parents know, anything THAT sticky and gooey is more attracted to long hair than a toddler is to mud puddles.

“Hey honey, your hair is wearing your dessert, “I observed.

“It’s okay, I can take a bath tonight!” she retorted satisfactorily.

“You had a bath last night and besides it’s only two in the afternoon. We may have a nest with a family of robins living in there by that time,” I predicted. Of course, my attention is diverted by a profound question my son asks me, “Mom, why are clowns scary to some people but funny to others?”

A few minutes later my daughter emerges from the bathroom smiling from ear to ear with sopping wet hair, “Look mom! I washed my hair in the sink!” I hate that in that moment I forgot everything I know about acknowledging feelings and bellowed, “Look at the mess in the bathroom! There is water all over the floor and the countertop and the towel loop has been yanked from the wall AGAIN!” Well of course her joyful exuberance turned to hurt and pain and she began to wail with huge tears plummeting down her soft, rosy cheeks.

That’s when I called it! “Wait, REWIND! Come back out of the bathroom and tell me again! Let me have a do-over!” My mind is reeling with the fact that I have taught a class on acknowledging your child’s feelings for 7 years and here I am doing laps in ‘de-Nile.’

I make a high, whirling sound like that of a cassette or VHS tape rewinding, knowing very well the only tape my kids are familiar with is the scotch kind that disappears into that black hole common within most munchkin households, you know the one where all of the pens, sock mates and band-aids end up (I digress). My daughter is still whimpering a little, but attempts to feebly re-enact her grand entrance. This time I say, “Wow what a creative idea! You knew you weren’t going to have a bath tonight, so you found a way right here and now to get all of that sticky marshmallow out of your hair! Here’s a towel to wipe up that excess water in the bathroom! Oh, I see the towel loop fell off the wall again. Put it here so daddy can fix it and try to remember to take the towel off the loop gently rather than tugging on it. You are stronger than you think!” I concluded, feeling as though the cameras were rolling in my new reality TV show, “Handling Almost Anything Well That Your Children Do To Surprise You Daily!”

“Whew! That was an improvement,” I thought as my daughter gave me a big tight hug around the waist and proudly said, “I cleaned up all of the water myself!” What a different outcome than from my previous response. My daughter should be feeling proud, innovative and autonomous not inept, incapable or guilty. We have so many opportunities to improve the outcome of just such an exchange. Try it next time and watch what happens! The choice is yours to “Rewind and Respond” to forge a connection while building a healthy self-image in your child or to, in our usually adult way, react needlessly and do just the opposite of some of our goals as parents.

Evie Estes, PCI Certified Parent Coach®, mom of three

http://www.parent4rfuture.com/

Cry-on! I Can Handle It!

2011-05-24T09:11:00.001-04:00

This morning my 11-year-old son reminded me for the third time in as many days, “Mom, I need a new spiral notebook for Social Studies, remember? I used up all the papers in my last one and I’m going to get in trouble if I don’t have one today!” My gut reaction was to quip exasperated that I was sorry that this necessity to him did not stay in the forefront of my endless-to-do list. I pushed that negative thought aside, as I am trying to make an effort to be more compassionate with myself in my fallible parenting. I took a deep breath and sincerely apologized for my forgetfulness.
I added that I would indeed pick-up the notebook that day after the weekly elementary school church services that I attend with my two younger daughters. He argued, “That won’t work, Mom, because I have Social Studies second period and it will be too late!” Darn! I took a deep breath, knowing that I was about to hear a lot of emoting, due to my sensitive seven year old, but I was also aware of continuing to make a monumental effort to honor each of my children’s feelings, no matter how trivial they seemed to me.

I explained to my younger daughter that when I took her to school that morning I was not going to be able to walk her to her locker (the crying had already begun) or back to her classroom after mass, because I was going to stay in church and pray the rosary since my before mass ritual was to be replaced by the run to the store. By that time, cries of anguish were bellowing out of my daughter’s gaping mouth and tears were streaming down her scrunched, anguished face. I breathed deeply and told myself not to feel irritated at the loud crying. This is truly enormous to her, in her little first grader world. “Just acknowledge it, and recognize her strong feelings as messengers of her needs,” I reasoned to myself as I continued taking slow, deliberate breaths to calm my parental anxiety to ‘let’ her continue to wail.

I shifted my focus from stopping the crying to realizing that this is a perfectly appropriate expression for her feelings at this moment. “It’s okay to cry, I know how hard this is for you,” I said to her as I patted her back and remembered how my other two children happily, independently walked themselves into school at an earlier age, nevertheless I respected this one’s individuality and unique reluctance at autonomy. “You wish we could be together all the time, don’t you, like when you were a baby?” I said as I crouched down to her eye level. She nodded still crying pretty forcefully. “It’s so hard to be a kid and grow up. You need your mommy in so many ways and yet it feels so good to be on your own sometimes too.” More vigorous nodding as the bellowing and sobbing turned into whimpering and she hugged me tightly. “You are so sad and this is so tough for you. Do you feel better after letting all of your strong feelings come out?” She looked at me with those big blue, watery eyes. “How are you feeling now?” I asked. Sniffing, she replied, “I feel better,” and then we came to an understanding that she could walk in without me today, but she requested that I walk her up the church aisle to her teacher at the end of mass (usually about 20 pews ahead of where we sit). I sincerely thanked her for letting me know how she felt and for thinking of a great plan that would work today.

Maybe sometimes as parents we have to be okay with crying being an expression of our children’s feelings and needs. Maybe our main goal shouldn’t necessarily be to stop the crying, no matter how anxiety-provoking to us. What if we acknowledge it as an acceptable outlet for our children to let those tough feelings flow out so that we can help create some space for productive thinking to take place? If we try really hard to put ourselves in their shoes and meet them where they are, we can truly empathize and the right words will come to us.

Mindful, Intentional Parenting Now
Evie Estes, PCI Certified Parent Coach®, mom of three
http://www.parent4rfuture.com/

Just Say "Yes"

2011-05-18T10:33:00.000-04:00

How often do we hear our young children asking, “Can I help, Mommy?” What emotions does that sweet and thoughtful request actually evoke in us? Could it be something like, “Ugh! I just want to get this done quickly and move on!” or “That’ll be a mess to contend with” or “There’s no way it will be done right to my standards, so then I’ll have to do it over again”? How quickly these pre-programmed, negative thoughts can enter our minds as to provoke us to give some type of verbal response as, “No thank you, honey. You go and play.”

Great, well-intentioned parents like us continually squelch our children’s natural inclination to be helpful and contribute. Why? Because in a task-oriented age of instant everything we hesitate to accept short-term discomfort now, even though we are inadvertently teaching at this moment the opposite of a value we wish to instill in our kids: that of a helpful contributor to the family and to the community at large for that matter.

Sure when the kids get older and can almost master a task we sign them up for all kinds of household chores. But what have we done when they were little to provide them some practice and experience the feelings of satisfaction when they have been allowed to help someone? Heck, yesterday even when my nine-year-old (no spring chicken) daughter asked me if I needed help putting away the groceries, I had to bite back the “No, thank you” at the tip of my tongue and allow the “Yes, please, I’d love your help” to emerge. Why is my knee-jerk response still a “No”? I reflected on what my initial thought was as she angelically uttered those words that we think us parents want to hear often, yet time and time again tend to reject. We think, “I need to get dinner started and she will ask me where half the stuff goes anyway. I might as well get it done more quickly myself.” Yet that initial thought chain does not support my long term goal of instilling helpfulness, thoughtfulness, kindness and even philanthropy in my daughter.

After she and I finished putting everything away, which probably took 37 seconds longer with her aid, I sincerely thanked her for kindly offering to help me and pointed out how much more fun it was tackling the job together. She grinned from ear to ear, feeling proud of herself, knowing her actions, however small, can have an impact on others and induce a warm feeling of satisfaction within her. Without missing a beat, her next offer followed, “Can I help you make dinner?”

Note to self this Summer: Let our children experience our true love and devotion by allowing them to contribute in their 'imperfect' way. Ask for help from our kids often, even when we don't need it, and always accept assistance from them although their 'helpfulness' is more work for us right now. The job that tests our ability to delay gratification will pay off with less work some years down the line. Sigh! Yes, good parents, we are frequently talking years!

Evie Estes, PCI Certified Parent Coach®, mom of three

http://www.parent4rfuture.com/

Music and Social/ Emotional Development

2011-05-17T22:19:00.000-04:00

I recommend you take a look at http://www.growing-sound.com/. Growing Sound develops educational children's music that help children learn and stimulates social, emotional development. The products on the site translate key findings from recent child development research into practical and entertaining educational music products for teachers, parents, and children.
The CD's on the site can help you share positive messages with you children to develop their self esteem, self discipline, and other social and developmental skills. I highly recommend this site!
-Susan

Parenting News!

2011-04-25T17:33:00.001-04:00

Emily is featured in Parenting Magazine's Early Years website. Check out the link: http://www.parenting.com/article/early-literacy-education-resources

-Susan

Enjoy Your Box

2011-04-12T10:28:00.000-04:00

Here is a creative way to shop and receive an extra bonus gift- A Blue Manatee Box- in the process! Along with the books you order, you get a box filled with packing noodles of various shapes to create vehicles, robots, airplanes, or most anything your child creates! The unique gift promotes shared reading in addition to creative play for healthy development. Visit http://www.bluemanateeboxes.com/
-Susan

Special Time with Grandparents

2011-04-08T11:16:00.000-04:00

Spending special times with grandchildren strengthen relationships. They also present opportunities to share heritage and leave a legacy. Share this with your grandparents! http://www.creatingcampheritage.com/
-Susan

Making a Difference

2011-04-04T11:38:00.000-04:00

The most critical period of human brain development is between birth and age 5. During that time "What a brain does or doesn't do literally formats it for the rewst of (a child's) life," says JoAnn Deak, a Cleveland-area psychologist, educator, and author. My giving your child positive feedback and introducing simple vocabulary words and concepts through playful activities will help make a difference in your child's learning process!
Susan

Boxes!

2011-03-29T08:33:00.000-04:00

A piece of furniture just arrived in a rather large box and my one year old and 4 year old grandchildren are due here any moment. It will be fun to observe their creativity when playing with the box. I understand you can call appliance stores to pick up boxes as well. It is a great way to pretend and have private spaces to look through books, have a snack, etc. What will your child do?
-Susan (Nana)

Early Childhood Education

2011-03-20T20:35:00.000-04:00

The news is full of stories about how school districts may be scaling back on early childhood programs. You have the opportunity to engage with your preschool age children yourself by accessing activities on http://www.productiveparenting.com/
If you feel your child is ahead of his/her age, simply put in a different birth date to reflect their developmental age. Enjoy your child learn. You have a unique opportunity to make a difference!
-Susan

How Tall?

2011-03-15T16:18:00.001-04:00

Keeping track of your child's growth can be a fun activity! I hammered nails in a 7' High 5-6" Wide board and hung it on a 2x4 on our playroom wall. Using a marker I lined the board and put marked each line by inches and feet. Every 6 months or so I wrote each child's name next to the height each measured along the name and date of the measurement. Now our grandchildren LOVE to see how tall they are in comparison to their parent! It makes for a fun number activity.

Activities of Choice

2011-03-07T14:43:00.001-05:00

What are your child's FAVORITE activities? Why not write the name of each activity idea on a separate piece of paper and place them all in a jar. Let your child pick one on the days you want an idea for special times when you are together!
-Susan

Taking Their Lead

2011-03-01T16:48:00.000-05:00

Children are born to play. What is your child's favorite activity? It may be emptying your kitchen cabinet. If so, follow their lead and put a few pots with lids in your child safe cabinet. Watch what interests your child. You may want to show your child how this lid fits on this pot, etc., then let them play. By providing interesting spaces for your child, you are setting the stage where play and learning will take place
-Susan.

Developing your Child's Curious Mind

2011-01-12T16:04:00.000-05:00

The best years to promote your child's curious mind are during the first five years, when brain cells are developing. Providing developmentally appropriate play activities during these years can help your child achieve success in kindergarten and beyond. The other day my grandchild and I "made a volcano." We poured distilled white vinegar over a pile of baking soda which was in a bowl. He loved seeing the bubbles and sizzles that resulted . He wanted to know why this happened so we went to the computer to take a look at photos of volcanos to discuss how eruptions evolve. Try this and other simple experiments- you may have a scientist in the making!
-Susan

Tips for Reading Books with Your Child

2010-12-14T18:10:00.000-05:00

1.Babies love hard bound books that have only one picture per page. Point to each picture as you name it, moving your finger from the left to right side of each word. Babies also love to hear rhyming words and alliteration as you read nursery rhymes.

2.Create your own picture books to read to your child.

3.Begin asking your child questions throughout the story, “Why do you think the black engine did not help the little blue engine?”

4.Ask your child to make a prediction of what will happen next in the story before turning the page to find out.

5.Talk about the story you read during the day, “Remember how the blue engine pulled the big train over the hill even though it was little? I think you can help me pull this big garbage can into the garage even though you are little.”

-Susan

Eye Level

2010-12-03T17:48:00.000-05:00

The next time your child comes in a room to talk with you, kneel down on the floor to their eye level. You may be surprised at how more focused your child is when your child needs to tell you something. This is particularly effective when your child has something sad to share... being on their eye level helps you both be focused!
-Susan (Nana)

High Five!

2010-11-12T14:50:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I went to a Birthday Bowling Party for my 4 year old grandson Curtis. I loved seeing all the children cheering for each other, no matter if their ball knocked down 1 pin or all of them. The bowling party was all about having fun and enjoying themselves. You can provide this setting by encouraging your children and their friends to share High Fives with each other for their accomplishments as well as their efforts!
-Susan

Shared Interests

2010-10-19T14:26:00.000-04:00

Visit http://www.braininsightsonline.com/ to learn more about this amazing person. Deborah's belief,

"It is my belief that every child has great potential that can be developed when we have an understanding of how brains develop. I have devoted my life to providing programs and materials that create this awareness in very real language for parents, educators, policy makers and businesses.

Of all the work I have done I am most overjoyed with the development of braininsights™ due to the opportunity to have an even greater impact on the awareness of the importance of the early years. My goal through this company is for everyone to gain an understanding of brain development, how we all learn, and the the ways we can have a positive impact.

We all benefit when this becomes common knowledge!"

Play promotes Healthy Lives

2010-10-05T15:37:00.000-04:00

Over 500 young adults were asked about their childhood play experiences and their present-day lifestyle factors such as weight and healthy behaviors, and found that those who reported more active or creative playtime as children were more likely to exercise and have a healthy diet as adults. You can make a difference by providing ample opportunities for play. Try keeping art supplies available and turning simple chores in to fun experiences, (like turning everyday tasks like clearing the dinner table into a rhyme and letting your child make up a few lines...)
-Susan

Taking Back Childhood

2010-09-21T14:51:00.000-04:00

After reading the book "Taking Back Childhood," by Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Ed.D., http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Back-Childhood-Media-Saturated-Violence-Filled/dp/B001IDZJT0/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1285094764&sr=1-1, I am more and more convinced that by giving young children opportunities for carefree playtimes, we are giving them a carefree and productive childhood.
-Susan

Family Night

2010-09-03T14:03:00.000-04:00

Today is Friday, otherwise known as 'Family Night' at our house. Each week we rotate which family member gets to plan the dinner (most importantly the dessert), and an activity for the evening. Our three year old is planning tonight which means spaghetti and meatballs, something involving ice cream and, I'm betting, an obstacle course in our yard. There's seemingly little that sets the evening apart from other nights of the week but if you ask our children it's a big deal. They know that one night a week, for sure, we will be hanging out together. Don't I want the same thing as an adult at times? Assurance that I'll get to spend some quality time with my friends or spouse on a regular basis? It's no different for our kids. So, with little effort, it's become a much anticipated 'ritual.' My 7 year old make a framed 'Family Night' sign that appears on the table Friday morning and we look forward to it each week. These are the little things that I'm believing, over time, will be big. If you don't do anything like this already, give it a try. You may be surprised at how well received it is!

Brown Bear

2010-08-21T14:18:00.000-04:00

My 3 year old grandchild has a brown bear that accompanies him to bed for naps and during the night. Brown Bear keeps him comfortable and helps him to feel protected. At some point in his life, Brown Bear will be a distant memory, but for now, he is an important part of his life... what is your child's "Brown Bear?" I remember each of my own children having their own 'brown bear' look alike that protected and kept them safe while sleeping... don't we all need this?
-Susan (Nana)

2010-08-20T15:26:00.001-04:00

Hi! I love this time of year. Back to school for my children inspires ME to initiate a 'back to school' frame of mind for myself. There are always a myriad of ways I aspire to grow and change as a parent but sometimes it can be overwhelming to transform these thoughts in to actions. I am excited to embark on a year of learning myself this year that will involve reading several parenting books that I have in my bookshelf as well as acting on some thoughts I have had regarding the establishment of weekly family meetings and how to share family chores. What are some ways you want to grow this year? As your kids head back to school or perhaps to school for the first time, why not join them? Decide on a few simple ways you can turn your thoughts into action and bring to life some new ways of bonding as a family. If you have little ones at home still maybe it will be as easy as deciding to do an activity from Productive Parenting with your child each day. As your children learn new ways of doing things, so can you!

Carefree Play

2010-08-07T15:53:00.001-04:00

I love watching children playing on the playground. This time is so important for children, giving them time to be carefree- away from our sometimes fast-paced, achievement-obsessed, consumer-driven society. This is time when they can make sense of their world by simply playing and having you simply enjoy watching!
-Susan

Keeping Memories

2010-07-13T17:03:00.001-04:00

I started an album of "Memories" for each of my grandchildren. I record my favorite memories of our times together every 6 months and place the "memory page" in their album along with a photo. I plan to give the album to each of them when they graduate from high school... Moms- this could be a great gift from you as well!
Susan (Nana)

Kids indoor fun beats rainy day blues

2010-06-23T12:23:00.000-04:00

It’s a rainy day and with outdoor fun out of the question, you might be wondering what to do with the kids. A friend showed me a great website, Productive Parenting, for ideas for fun at home with children from infancy through age 5. I like it because it uses household objects for activities, and its suggestions are age appropriate. It seems like a common sense, creative approach to helping children learn, and it's free, so I thought I’d share it.

The site, www.productiveparenting.com, offers parents one daily, developmental, age-appropriate activity suggestion for each child rather than making readers search the site for an activity. Membership is free and parents can choose to receive information in the way that best fits their lifestyle: either on their customized member homepage or by email. If members want other ideas, they can choose from a library of thousands of additional play activities, designed by experts in child development to stimulate a growing child’s mind.

Activities are designed to be simple, require little to no preparation, and use household items such as rulers, rocks, bowls, balls, coins, and cups. The Activity Library provides thousands of additional developmental activities, beginning with simple sensory experiences for infants and progressing to more challenging activities for pre-kindergartners. Specific activities are easily located with advanced search options by age, keyword, skills learned and category. Categories include Sensory Experiences, Exploring your World, Fun with Numbers, Science Adventures, Language and Pre-Reading, and Daily Living Skills.

The site was developed by Susan Dineen and Emily Rempe, a mother-daughter team, after Emily, mom to three preschoolers, realized how frustrating and overwhelming it was to find quality educational activities for her young children.

When I was the mother of a preschooler, I remember how hard it was to come up with creative learning games on my own. The few my friend taught me—butterflies made of paper towels dyed with food coloring and a hat with household objects to explore only with our eyes blindfolded—released us from the rainy day blues and created memories we both still cherish.

– Written by Odile Fredericks, Carolina Parent Web Editor

Sand

2010-06-11T09:35:00.000-04:00

We just returned for a week at the beach with 6 of our grandchildren. What can be more fun than simply playing on the beach? The possibilities are endless! Sandboxes and sand piles in the parks also provide fun for children of all ages. -Just be sure to have your sanitizer handy afterwards!

Susan (Nana)

The Beach

2010-06-07T20:39:00.000-04:00

I loved watching our grandchildren enjoy their time at the beach last week. It is the best playground for children of ALL ages!
-Susan (Nana)

Just provide some props...

2010-05-27T14:46:00.000-04:00

I'm always amazed what transpires when I provide some new props to my children's day. I'm not talking about new toys, just items that you already havea round the house. This week I had a lot of mulch to spread so one morning I collected all of the gardening tools we own including watering cans, shovels, buckets, gloves, etc., and placed them all in a row on the driveway. I told the kids we were playing gardener today and that's all it took. Now while they may not have 'helped' me spread mulch, they did help me to get the job done by playing with the other tools in ways that interested them. We also do a yearly picking of weeds in which I award a penny a weed. We spent the earnings on ice cream later that afternoon. Involve your children in your own 'chores.' Not only will it help you get things done that you need to do, your children will feel valued to have been part of the process and confident/proud that they helped out!

Developing your Child's Curious Mind

2010-05-25T17:47:00.000-04:00

I wonder how that happened... why do you suppose... can begin to spark your child's curiosity about their world. I personally love to introduce young children to science by doing simple experiments with them, asking them questions along the way.
Susan (Nana)

Solving a problem in 'pretend'

2010-05-17T16:24:00.002-04:00

Sometimes you just want to be heard. Even if your complaint or problem can't be solved you simply want someone to listen and respond to it. Children are no different from grown ups when it comes to this. Even if we can not help them or solve their predicament, much of their angst will diminish if/when we simply listen. I often find myself in this position in the car. The call comes out from the 'way back' that a crayon or stuffed animal has been dropped or someone is thirsty. Instead of saying too bad, I can't help you right now...I try to first of all appeal to their problem "I'm so sorry about that" "That's a real bummer, you were right in the middle of your picture" and then offer them a solution in 'pretend.' "If I had a refrigerator in the car and could get you a drink what would you most want?" "What if your bear came alive and could jump back up in your lap? What else would you do with him if he could come alive?" They are funny conversations but you may be amazed at how they defray frustration. Your child will feel 'heard' and sometimes that is a bigger 'need' of your child than the item they are asking for!

Routines

2010-05-14T11:15:00.000-04:00

I feel it is important to begin setting 'flexible' routines for young children. It helps them be prepared for their days and gives them a sense of security. What routines are important to you and which ones do you make part of your day with your child?
-Susan

'Un' Productive Time

2010-05-11T07:39:00.001-04:00

Why is it so hard to be unproductive these days and why do I feel like I'm 'not enough' as a mom when I let my children engage in (what might look to others as) unproductive play? I believe our society is so overly focused on productivity and measuring worth by how 'busy' we are that it has become increasingly difficult to not only engage in but ENJOY 'un' productive time. Who loses out as a result? We all do! Now let me clarify what I mean by unproductive time. Engaging in activities that have no real 'purpose' in the eyes of others yet in the eye of the person engaged in it it is wholly fun and satisfying. Take for example yesterday afternoon, my 2 sons were playing a game in which they took their car seats out of the car and were sitting in them in the driveway tipping them over and pretending to race one another while my daughter was pretending to be a visitor from Africa who did not speak English while I organized our desk drawer and did minor surgery on a doll whose legs had become disconnected from her torso. (ok, so maybe that was somewhat productive:). Personally I see and experience the value in slowing down to be in the moment and I believe in the value of this for my children. What bothers me is that there seems to be this little nagging voice, present in those moments, telling me I'm not 'doing' enough. Does anyone relate? I'm on a mission to put it to rest. Enjoy the moments in my day or week that are not really going to change the world (although I'm all for that and pursue it at other times) and just experience them for what they are...may look unproductive to some but wholly productive in slowing me down to experience these fleeting moments with my children!

Imaginative Play

2010-05-06T14:29:00.000-04:00

Children's reading achievement is greatly facilitated when they are invloved in imaginative play with adults. How did you and your child "pretend" today?
-Susan

Playful Children become Happier Adults

2010-04-23T15:32:00.000-04:00

Having the freedom and opportunity to play is important for all aspects of child development. Children who engage in creative and active play are more likely to have better overall health and lead happier adult lives. How did your child spend time today?
-Susan

Parents' Choice Award

2010-04-20T19:07:00.000-04:00

We are delighted to be the recipient of the 2010 Parents' Choice Award!
-Emily and Susan

Productive Parenting

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Or how to make your child a brilliant and talented artist in an arts vacuum.

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