During the first 3 years, your child is beginning to develop self-control- the ability to manage feelings and actions in acceptable ways. Your child is also learning to wait, share, and work out problems with friends. Try staying calm when yur child is upset. This will help your child feel safe and get back in control. Give choices to older toddlers. If you want your child to do a task, ask "Would you like to read books before or after we brush teeth?" You can both 'win' using this tested approach!