Mom Feature: Meet Brianna

Meet Brianna

My name is Brianna, and I blog at This Rookie Wife. I was married on May 7, 2011 to my Youth Pastor hubby. We discovered we were pregnant a few months after getting married, and I gave birth to our first child, a baby girl, on May 16, 2012. 

I`m a stay-at-home mom, although I consider blogging my part-time job. I also will be getting more involved in my husband`s ministry in the fall.
 
What surprised you the most about motherhood?   
I wasn't expecting to be so totally and completely exhausted. Even though my daughter, who is 5-months-old, is sleeping through the night, I still feel totally drained by the end of the day. 

I also didn't now what a parent`s love would feel like, and I am surprised by the changes that I see in myself. I`m totally overwhelmed with love for my baby girl. It`s a precious feeling to have.  

Oh, one final thing: I didn't realize how difficult it is to have a hot meal when you have a baby. My daughter always seems to be hungry right when my dinner is ready!
 
What do you think prepared you the most for becoming a mom? 
I read a lot of books, especially on breastfeeding. I watched a lot of videos too and talked to moms who recommended that I get certain products, etc. 

I found preparing myself practically did help me a bit with motherhood, but nothing prepares you like the first day of actually being a parent!
 
What is your "typical" day like these days? 
Right now I`m typically breastfeeding a lot throughout the day, playing with my daughter (and getting great tips from Productive Parenting), and spending time relaxing by blogging and reading. 

I don't get out much, which is sometimes hard, but I just tell myself that this is a short season that will be over shortly!
 
What are you looking forward to the most as your baby grows up?  
To be honest, I try not to look forward. I have a problem with wishing the time away. I did that when I was in high school and wished for university. In university I wished for a career. When I dated my husband I wished for marriage. 

Now, I just tell myself that I need to enjoy my little girl and not think about what comes next, because this time just goes by too fast. 
 
What will you miss the most about these baby years?  
Everything! I keep trying to soak up every minute of this time with her. I like that she doesn't get into things yet. I like that she snuggles with me, and I can kiss her over and over and she doesn't mind. I like that she sleeps lots at night and has lots of naps during the day! I`m going to miss this time when my pumpkin gets bigger!

Follow Brianna and her family at her blog: http://thisrookiewife.blogspot.ca/

Mom Feature Monday: Meet Allison

Meet Allison

My husband and I have been married for seven years and we have three kids under the age of four. When my oldest was born, I quit my job as a teacher to stay at home. I have a three year old daughter who is in preschool two mornings a week. And I have two year old boy/girl twins.

My son was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy when he was 8 months old. It was his diagnosis that made me decide to start my blog Twingle Mommy.

I was looking to connect with other moms who have children with CP. I blog about our crazy life, and I run giveaways as well.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom? 
When my kids do something naughty, and I want to lose it, but I keep cool instead. I envy the moms who are not hot tempered by nature. But I am very hot tempered and it takes effort to keep my cool.

I also think I’m being a good mom when I take pictures of said naughty behavior. I want to show them why their kids act the way they do one day. Plus, the pictures are really funny to look at once you’re not mad anymore.

I wrote a post about my Top 5 Naughty Behaviors-Caught on Film to highlight some of their mischievous antics.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
When I’m distracted or busy with something and my kids want my attention and I tell them to go away. I have caught myself telling my kids to go watch TV while mommy does _______.

Once I hear myself, I cringe because I know that they don’t understand. And most of the time what I’m doing really isn’t that important.

What surprised you the most about motherhood? 
I was shocked to discover that having twins equaled that everywhere I go people would stop me to ask questions or give me “advice.” And while most people are nice and mean well, the 10% who are not cancel out the other 90%.

My husband and I cringe when people approach us because we are waiting for the dreaded questions and comments that make me want to scream. I think all moms experience this unwanted advice or comments regardless of having twins. But somehow having twins amped it up.

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way? 
When my kids are about to meltdown, we head outside. Sometimes I send them into the backyard to play alone. But normally we head outside and take a little walk. Between the change in scenery and burning off the built up energy it does the trick.

If it’s slightly warm outside we take a popsicle walk. That’s when they drip popsicle juice all over the neighborhood instead of inside my house. My neighbors might hate me, but it keeps my kids very happy.

What have your children taught you? 
When Mark was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, I learned that there is no such thing as the life you want, just the life you have. His diagnosis and being a mom in general has taught me patience and how to slow down.

There is something about having children that make you learn how to enjoy the little moments in life.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
I really struggled with how to answer this question. Do I answer with something that is so precious to this time or give a realistic answer? I decided to go with both.

I think I’ll miss the look on their faces when they do something for themselves or by themselves for the first time. The look on my son’s face when he took his first step was priceless. He was so amazed and proud of himself all at the same time.

Now that’s the good mom answer, the reality mom answer is naptime. My friends and I joke that naptime is how the kids stay alive and mommy doesn’t have a drinking problem. But really naptime is my time. It’s my time to talk on the phone without interruptions, clean (though you’ll rarely catch me using my free time to clean) and blog. I will miss 2 to 3 hours to myself each day very much when they are older.

What advice do you have for moms of special needs children?
Find parents who have older children with the same special needs as your child. You need support and having someone ahead of you on the journey will be very beneficial to your learning process.

When I had to fight the state to get services for Mark, I asked fellow CP moms for advice. They gave me verbage and statistics to back up my arguments. It helped me find the courage to stand up to Mark’s developmental specialist, and he is getting the services that he needs.

And one day, I’ll be able to help another mom.

Follow Allison and her family at her blog: http://www.twinglemommy.com

Mom Feature: Meet Nicole

 

Meet Nicole

I'm a new member of the Mommy Mafia; my little boy, PJ, just turned six months old in January. As such, this is a period of such fundamental change (cue knowing chuckle here from the experienced mom crowd) that I have a hard time describing myself these days.

What I definitely am is an American living, working, and mothering in Germany. I'm happily married to a wonderful man. I love words: speaking them, reading them (book tips extremely welcome in the comments!), and writing them - especially at my blog Pickles and Onions.

I have a corporate job that I will return to in just three months, which shocks me when I think about it because before PJ arrived I thought "Nine whole months off the job? How will I manage away from work?"

And now I know, "Only nine months off the job?! How will I manage away from my baby?!"

Cue knowing chuckle and nodding heads from the experienced mom crowd.

Oh, and I really like to laugh at myself. Often and loud.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
When I follow my intuition. Pre-mommyhood, I had no idea how clear and strong my intuition would become. I really struggled the first ten weeks of PJ's life and it was mostly because having a baby is a huge change and I spent too much time listening to "experts" and not to myself.

Now I see that my little boy is so happy and courageous and adventurous, and I know that I'm the PJ expert. When I look at him I am usually warmed by how lucky I am and at what a good job I'm doing. I don't buy into the mommy wars - like most mommies - and I'm surrounded by people who encourage and support me.

I also have a little note hanging on my bathroom mirror that says "You are an awesome mom!" I believe that note.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
I require a lot of sleep. As a child I had "crash days": days when I come home from school, voluntarily climbed into my bed and didn't wake up until the next day. In college I never pulled an all nighter; sleep was too important.

So it comes as no surprise that my worst moments are in the middle of the night when PJ has nursed and can't get back to sleep. I'm exhausted, starting to lose my temper - "why can't you sleep?!" running through my head and, sadly, sometimes out of my mouth - and I walk to my sleeping husband and say "please, please help" or (far more often) bark "your turn!"

He, without fail, rolls out of bed and then walks, rocks, sings, our little boy back into dreamland. Calmly. In the middle of the night. Wow.

I am lucky and thankful that my husband is darn near his best when I am at my worst.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
What didn't surprise me? I had no idea what mothering was really like. This little guy is here to stay. Forever. Even on Sunday mornings. Actually, especially on Sunday mornings. I didn't grasp that concept at all.

I also didn't realize just how confusing motherhood would be; how overwhelming all the voices from experts, family members and friends were going to be; how difficult and time consuming establishing a breastfeeding relationship would be; how much my marriage would change; how much I was going to need my mommy and my sister; how quickly my circle of friends would be altered; how hard being without my little man would be at first; and how strong and clear my intuition would become.

You can follow Nicole and her family at her blog: http://pickles-and-onions.blogspot.com/

Mom Feature: Meet Kathryn

Meet Kathryn

I like lovely things. I have spent my career surrounded by art, artists, and words – all of which I adore. I also like lovely people. I am lucky to be surrounded by them too.

Obviously from my posts here and on my blog, I also like books. I really would like to go with the theme and say I like lovely books, but the truth is: I like ALL books. Depressing books, slow books, fast books, short books and fat books – I love them all.

Our little family is complicated to describe. I have lived in two countries and nine states. My husband is originally from Kenya. Most of our friends are from somewhere else. We’re multi-racial, multi-faith, multi-faceted in every way, but oddly my husband thinks more like me than anyone else I’ve ever met. I feel extremely grateful for that, as I realized at some point that this business of building a family really requires a strong union, a lot of communication, and a bit of mind-reading.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
When my daughter and I are really connected and we are both really in the moment, then I’m doing a good job. Sometimes it’s sharing a laugh, sometimes it’s dancing around the house, sometimes it’s discussing a boundary, and sometimes it’s a simple, intertwined nap together on the sofa.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
The time when I struggle the most is when I am tired and frustrated. I’m not a yeller, but I hate when my daughter ends up feeling like she’s disappointed me, especially if I later realize that it’s really me that had the problem.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
Motherhood was a complete shock to me. I had a massive babysitting empire as a teenager, so I thought I knew what to expect. I had patented ways to calm children, I had theories, I had experience. My husband is from a large family, so he had tons of experience too.

But all that was completely naïve. I had NO idea how all-consuming it would be when it is your own child. We don’t have much family nearby, so it was (and continues to be) a struggle to get the help that we need.

Related, I have learned I was incredibly judgmental about other parents. I have come to realize that there are a million ways to raise wonderful children. I have chosen the path that seems right for our circumstances and my child, but I don’t pretend to know what is right for someone else. (And I had a few apologies to make to friends and family about know-it-all, unsolicited advice that I gave before I knew any better.)

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way?
Well, when I am feeling a meltdown coming on, I find a nice, cold glass of water can really turn me around. My daughter is fairly even tempered, so if she is entering meltdown territory then I have pushed her patience way too far.

Stopping to listen to what she is saying, removing her from whatever situation she is resisting, and adjusting my expectations are vital. She responds best to positive things, so a song, a snuggle, or a small snack will most often solve the problem.

What have your daughter taught you? 
Something magical happened to me in this process. Many of my insecurities fell away. I feel more beautiful, I feel more worthy, probably because I feel more loved. Our children love us with a voracity that I have found impossible to ignore.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
I’m going to miss feeling tall! My husband and his family are all quite tall, my daughter takes after him, so I’m afraid the sweet way she turns her head up to me and stares at me with her deep, soulful eyes are short-lived.

I really doubted I would ever have this opportunity, to be the mother to a wonderful, sweet, healthy baby. I just want to savor this time and not worry too much about what is to come. I could not have planned my life to be this rich and interesting, so I am committed to letting it unfold, in all its complexity, as it will.

Anything else?
I really love positive, constructive dialogue, so I hope people will be encouraged to comment on what I write. I have learned so much from other mothers, so I hope readers will have some things to say, some questions, or something to share.

You can follow Kathryn on her blog: http://www.readingbaby.blogspot.com/

Mom Feature: Meet Mandy

Meet Mandy

Hi, I'm Mandy, and I blog over at www.SugarBeeCrafts.com.

I enjoy crafting (obviously) but first and foremost I'm a wife and mother. I have been married 10 years and we have four children, ages 8,6,4,2. It's fun!!

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
When the kids are giggling and can't stop. I love the pure joy of that. It's nice to see them so happy and think, well we must be doing something right...

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
When everyone's in tears - complete opposite of the previous question. If they're talking meanly and making each other upset, I just wonder why I haven't been able to teach them to love each other better.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
It's fun! Everyone talks about all the hard work - which there's plenty of! - but there's also a lot of fun with kids. I love it.

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way?
Give attention - anything to distract and show the child that we can do something fun together. Give them a reason to have fun instead of melt down.

What have your children taught you?
To enjoy everything - to love some of the simplest things. I think you can learn a lot from your kids. It's through them that I become a better person.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
The way they want to spend 24/7 with me - I'm sure one day they won't want to, so I need to enjoy it now!

You can follow Mandy and her family at her blog, www.SugarBeeCrafts.com.

Mom Feature: Meet Rachel

Meet Rachel

I am honored to be sharing with you all at Productive Parenting today!

My name is Rachel, and I share my three loves over at my blog, SunScholars.com. I love children, I love to create, and I love to teach. These have been very important parts of my life from a very young age. Today, I am a mother of three wonderful (wild) children who are an inspiration for most everything that I do. For me, my blog is a wonderful way for me to connect with others, and share the things I am passionate about!

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
Any time I feel like I have come up with a way to create harmony in our home, I feel like I’m on the right track. When the kids are fighting, whining, and throwing tantrums over one thing or another, I can usually pinpoint exactly “WHAT I DID WRONG” that lead to that point. Not that I take full responsibility for whining or tantrums… but usually these things can be avoided. It is managing things well enough that our home is peaceful is when I feel I’ve done my best.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
When the fighting, whining, and throwing tantrums over-rules the day! I see this as a sign that I need to set whatever it is that I’m doing aside and give my full attention to my kids. A little quality time together, and suddenly the chaos disappears.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
Gosh, I thought I was SO PREPARED to be a mom! I had been caring for OTHER people’s children all my life. But I think that was the problem. They were OTHER people’s children.

When my first, adorable, high-maintenance, cry for three solid hours a day, don’t put me down, no I’m not sleeping in my crib, child was born, I realized that my life was no longer mine! Now, 8 years and three children later, I’m slowly gaining some of that back.

How could I not have realized what a HUGE deal this was?! I think it took me 9 months alone to get over the shock. Beyond that shock, I am still amazed with how different each one of my children is from the other. How each child has different needs, challenges, passions, personality traits that allows you love them each in their own special way.

I also didn’t expect being a mom would be such an ongoing challenge. You always worry if you are making the best decisions for your children, or that you aren’t doing a good enough job in one way or another. At least, I think any “good parent” feels that way at some point.

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
Visit the adoption agency?? Ok, no, seriously… haha. Though I have considered that from time to time. I have found that with my children a little quiet, focused alone time has always helped to tame a meltdown.

For my oldest child the SesameStreet.org site was a GODSEND! A book, a puzzle, or even a little story time with mom, always seems to do the trick.

What have your children taught you?
That every child is different, and no one can tell you “this is the way it’s done”. Over all of the years of struggles with one thing or another between my three children and listening to advice from others, I have learned that each child… each parent… each circumstance is unique. You may be lucky enough to find something that works, but that doesn’t mean it will work for the family next door.

You have to trust yourself as a parent, and know that what you try today might not work today… but perhaps it will next week. Be willing to try something different if it feels right. Most of all… I have learned that it really is the simple things in life that matter most.


What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
Having them crawl into bed with me in the middle of the night, and the times we sit and snuggle on the couch together. That, and those cute little speech impediments that they all seem to lose by the time they are 4.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?
Being a mom is definitely the hardest job in the world, but it can also be the most rewarding. As a new mom I reflected often on my own childhood, deciding what kind of mom I wanted to be, and what things I valued about my experience… what things I wanted to do differently.

I love that there are so many resources available to moms today with the internet right at our finger tips! There is always someone else out there going through a similar situation, and I love that we have the opportunity to find those people and connect when those before us didn’t. There is so much support out there for parents, which I find such a blessing!

You can follow Rachel and her family at her blog: http://sunscholars.blogspot.com.

Mom Feature: Meet Sarah

Meet Sarah

We introduced you to Sarah on Monday, and she's here today to talk about motherhood. Sarah is a mother to five kids, and she blogs about her life and thoughts on motherhood at Clover Lane.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
When I don’t over schedule myself or my children. When I get enough rest.
When I have a little time to myself. When I have a plan, a loose schedule, a slightly organized day. When I remember that I am the parent, and let go of the guilt of not pleasing. When I don’t react to things, but take the opportunity to teach. When I can tell my children see our house as an oasis from the world when they walk in the door after a busy, noisy school day. When I take the time to stop doing and just be with them, whether it’s reading a book, or just laying on the living room carpet while they play around me. When I am complimented on my children’s kindness, or the way they behave in church.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
When I get that exhausted, reactive, shrill sound in my voice, and no one can do anything right. (Which usually happens about the week before school starts when I am overwhelmed by the preparation for change and just downright exhausted because every semblance of order has been slowly eroded away by the fun of summer.)

Also, when my children don’t treat each other kindly. That is a stab to my heart. I don’t know why, but I fear that they won’t all love each other and be close for the rest of their life. I want that badly for them.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
I thought it would be no different from a babysitting experience. Boredom, slowly ticking hours, little attachment. So the love of course surprised me. I had no idea, never gave a thought to the fact that it might be otherwise. When they put my first, Isaac, on top of me, after an excruciating labor that almost killed me, I felt total shock at the love I felt, and of course, the fear that goes along with that love was staggering also.

Every stage and age holds it surprises along the way though, and it is a constant learning experience. I really thought I had it down, and then surprise, surprise, a child turned into a teen and I had to relearn how to say what I needed to say, when and for how long. I am still learning that one. Children are incredible teachers I’ve found, and very forgiving.

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way?
A bath.

What have your children taught you?
To grow up. That I can survive non-stop debilitating nausea for months on end, and then forget about it completely in a matter of months. Not to keep score with my husband. To trust what my mother gut tells me, whether it’s about chicken pox, my child’s new friend, or when to begin solid food. That I am in charge and sometimes it’s not always fun to be the boss, but it’s my duty as a parent, my favor to my children.

That even with all the advice and books, and professionals and status quo, I alone know my child best. That I can be woken up every 2 hours around the clock and still function the next day if I put my mind to it. To appreciate what I have because if my children are alive and healthy I am living in a dream instead of a nightmare. That my husband is an incredible father. Sometimes the small stuff should be sweated.

There is and will be nothing bigger in my life than what I am doing now. That having babies is a gift never to be taken for granted. That I can learn so much from those that have parented before me, and those that are parenting with me. To watch for my best and worst moments, and then make changes to make less worse and more best happen. To say no, quickly and without explanation.

That the pace of life created in our country today is not at all conducive to a child’s spirit, and that it takes nerve and backbone to set our own pace, but where there is a will there is way. That children learn from my example a thousand times more than your words

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
Everything. And I truly mean that-everything from poopy diapers, to Christmas morning. I am one of those mothers who will forever mourn the growing up of my children, and could never say with confidence “I am done” after the last baby.

I can’t watch what little home video we have taped, because it sends me into a funk of epic proportions and freaks me out at how much time flies, and how inadequate my memory really is. In a way, I think I will miss each of my children as I knew them when they were totally and 100% mine, and the way of life I had before I began to have to start to let them go-which in the end, of course, is the entire premise of parenting-to prepare them for life beyond our walls.



You can follow Sarah and her family on her blog:
memoriesoncloverlane.blogspot.com.

An Inspiring, Deliberate Mother

We hope you've been enjoying our "Mom Feature" series!

One of our favorite moms is being featured this Wednesday. Sarah is a mother of five children and blogs over at Clover Lane. She was recently nominated as the "Best Blog for Deliberate Moms."

We're excited for you to see all of Sarah's thoughts on motherhood on Wednesday. And in the meantime, we thought you might want to take a look at some of our favorite posts from her blog:

The Best Behavior Modification Secret

What Not to Regret

A Home's Energy

Cross Your Arms

A Long Letter to a New Mom

Questions to Ask Ourselves

Our Girls - Growing Up Too Fast

Stop by Sarah's blog, and let us know what you think.

And be sure to come back on Wednesday to hear more of Sarah's thoughts on motherhood.

Mom Feature: Meet Ginger

Meet Ginger

Hi! I'm Ginger. I'm a wife, mother to 5, sister, daughter and friend. I've been blogging for four years, and I love keeping a journal of our family. I recently started my own craft blog, Ginger Snap Crafts. I love to blog, decorate, garden, create and, most of all, be with my family.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I feel like I'm doing the best when I see my children give a talk in church, play in their band concert at school, receive awards at Scouts, Cub Scouts or school, being kind to their siblings, making good choices, being kind to a friend, helping unload the groceries, doing their chores without having to be asked, singing in a school program. It's times like this that I think, "Yes, we're doing a pretty good job with these kiddos."

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
Ummmm...when we are running late to an activity, and we are all getting grouchy, can't find our shoes....it's times like this I just have to remind myself it's OK if we are late, take a deep breath and calm down. Another not fun mom moment is fighting in the car. Drives me crazy. Again, I take deep breaths and try not to get upset. :)

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
How much I would love and enjoy my children. How much my life would change. How much I would love being a mom. How little sleep I would get. :)

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
It depends on the child. For my younger ones, I'll wrap them up in their blankie and rock them. For my older ones, I usually send them to their room, and then have them come back when their happy. It usually doesn't take too long.

What have your children taught you?
How to love, how to have fun, how to laugh and enjoy life.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
I'll miss the cuddles, the kisses, being their whole world, being able to fix all their problems and the time being together with just our little family.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?
This is my favorite quote on motherhood. I have it posted at the top of our family blog, and I read it just about everyday. I reminds me to treasure every single moment of being a mother and not rush from one thing to the next.

Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said:

“The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”(Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).

You can follow Ginger and her family at her blog: http://gingersnapcrafts.blogspot.com.

Mom Feature: Meet Danielle

Meet Danielle

My name is Danielle Harper, and I am a stay-at-home mom to two beautiful little girls. My husband and I got married in June of 2007 -  a short 9 months after we first met. Soon after that I became preggers with baby number one, and she arrived April 30, 2008. As soon as I looked into her eyes I knew there was no way I could leave her to go back to work as a bank teller, and that is when I become a stay-at-home mom.

Baby number two arrived April 30, 2010..... I bet that date looks familiar. Yup - both my girls were born on April 30th, and yes, it occurred naturally. No planned c-sections or anything like that, my body must just like April 30th.

Soon after my youngest arrived I started browsing around blogs and thought it would be fun to start my own, and so I did! And so Happenings of the Harper Household was born. It's almost like my third baby, hehe. I love writing about our life and my choices of being a breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth diapering mama and there are always reviews and giveaways that match our lifestyle - think fluff and lots of it!

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
This question is simple. I feel like I'm doing the best job as a mom when my kids are happy. Yes, the sink may be overflowing with dishes. There might be mountains of laundry in every bedroom. Toys may be scattered throughout the house. Cheerios might be stomped into the carpeting. Maybe you can even write your name in the dust on the TV screen. But if they are happy, then none of that matters.I would much rather take my kids to the park or go out for ice cream than worry about the state of my house. They will only be little once and the dishes will be there forever.


You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
This question is hard. I think I feel like I'm doing the worst job when mommy guilt sets in..... for example if I buy one munchkin a new toy and I don't buy one for the other, then I feel awful! Ok, and I will be honest, sometimes when the kiddos are having a rough day and the only thing I hear is crying and screaming sometimes I just want to escape for a little while, and it makes me feel awful that I just want to get away from them for a few hours.


What surprised you the most about motherhood?

Hmmmm...... well the entire time I was pregnant with DD2, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to love another baby as much as I loved DD1. This was a constant worry. I was so afraid when they handed her to me that I would just want DD1 in my arms. I couldn't have been more wrong. As soon as DD2 was placed in my arms my eyes flooded with happy tears, and it felt like she had been part of our family forever. I now know there is enough room in my heart for as many babies as the Lord will bless me with.


What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
One word - OUTSIDE. If I utter that one word a meltdown will almost stop instantly. Of course it might help that our back yard looks like Little Tikes world - what can I say, I'm a garage saling mama that always seems to score an awesome deal, hehe. This has pretty much worked for my oldest since she was only a few weeks old. If she was really fussy, we would go outside and walk around a bit and she was happy as can be.


What have your children taught you?
To enjoy the moment because once it passes it will be gone forever.


What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
Everything. The smiles, tantrums, giggles, hugs, slobbery kisses. I will most definitely miss the adorable sumo wrestler stance that DD2 always does and hearing DD1 call me "mama"...... I dread the day it becomes "mother."


Is there anything else you'd like to add?
Thanks for letting me share a small glimpse into my life with you..... if I've caught your interest be sure to come visit me at www.HappeningsoftheHarperHousehold.net

Mom Feature: Meet Kristen

Meet Kristen

Kristen and her husband live in North Carolina and are new parents to baby Eliana. Kristen shares it all on her blog, Oh Happy Miracle. Once you start reading, you'll fall in love with this family - who aren't afraid to share the good, the bad and the ugly - from their struggle with infertility to their new lives as parents. Kristen's honesty will keep you coming back day after day.


What surprised you the most about motherhood? 
On the negative side, women can tell you over and over about the sleep deprivation, but until you're in the trenches of being a new parent, it's impossible to understand. I would always nod my head yes when a mother would talk about the lack of sleep-- almost dismissing what they were saying-- but MAN, it's NO JOKE!

I remember several days nodding my head off while breastfeeding. John would call my name to wake me up, and I would throw my head back up completely freaked out!

On the positive side, I was always a little scared of being a mother. I know that sounds crazy if you know our history of infertility and how hard we fought to become parents. But there was a piece of me that feared being a bad mother. Luckily I proved those fears wrong and have eased into parenting with complete confidence. I was meant to do this!


What do you think prepared you the most for becoming a mom? 
My sister has twins that just so happen to being turning 1 year old in July. Because I didn't really grow up around children, I was lucky enough to spend some quality time with them in this past year. It has definitely been a godsend these past 8 weeks to prepare me for what lies ahead.


You've been open about your struggle with infertility. What advice would you give to other women who are going through the same thing?
Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you need to feel to get through this journey. Don't EVER question your feelings no matter what people tell you. If you're pissed, be pissed. If you're sad, be sad.

The one thing that most women come to me about is the guilt that they feel for being "Debbie Downer" all the time. I always allowed myself to feel what came natural. I had hopeful days and days where I just wanted to lie in bed and forget about everything. BE YOU! You did not ask for this! And last but not least, do not take "no" for an answer. A doctor told us that we would never have children. Look at us now!


What is your "typical" day like these days? 
For some reason, by the grace of God, my child is already on a sleep schedule! I know, crazy huh? While her naps are a little sporadic, Eliana wakes up every morning at 6:30am. I scoop her up and we lie in bed until about 8:30am. During this time we both lay in the bed and I feed her throughout the two-hr period. I jump in the shower, before John leaves for work, and then we have playtime for as long as she likes while she's laying on the bed playing with her toys.

I try to spend a lot of time with my parents because they keep my sisters twins three days a week. So we usually pack up the car and spend the day over there. If that doesn't happen, then we do a lot of singing and a lot of dancing around the house-- with poopie diapers and feedings mixed in of course :)

I work from home, so somewhere between 1pm-3pm she usually takes a 3 hour nap. During this time I scramble like a crazy lady to straighten the house, catch up on work, and if I'm lucky, I may even have 5 seconds to brush my teeth! Ahhhhhh!

We were spending a ton of time outside on the swing, but because the North Carolina heat is INSANE in July, we've had a leave of absence recently. So, we bounce around the house for the next few hours, with a few cries and smiles in between.

John gets home around 6:30pm-7pm and because my husband is amazing, he cooks dinner so I can tend to Eliana. Anywhere between 9:30pm-10:30pm, Eliana falls asleep for the night. She typically sleeps through the night, but a few nights a week, she will wake up around 3:30am-4:00am for a quick 10 minute feeding and then she's down again until 6:30am. And then we start all over again :)


What are you looking forward to the most as Eliana grows up?
I'm looking forward to the little things in life, like driving in the car and both of us singing at the top of our lungs with the window down, or dancing in the living room and making daddy laugh with our crazy routines. But, most importantly, Eliana coming to me for advice. I want her to know that I will ALWAYS be here for her and that I will never judge her.

Follow Kristen and her family at www.ohhappymiracle.com.

Mom Feature: Meet Anna

Meet Anna

Hi, My name is Anna, and I've had the great privilege of guest posting at Productive Parenting for the past several weeks.

I am a (newly) stay-at-home mom to three kids. Miles is 3, Alice is 2 and Simon is 5 months. I married my college sweetheart, Matt - and we have a very large dog named Benson.

When I'm not busy taking care of my three kids or writing for Productive Parenting, I write about my kids, my life and my house at my blog: My Life and Kids.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I feel like I'm doing my best job when I'm completely focused on my kids. Whether we're reading books, doing a Productive Parenting activity, dancing in the kitchen, playing with sensory trays or taking a walk - I'm doing my best job when I'm not distracted. I try really hard to stay away from the computer, the phone and the television when my kids are awake.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
I always know when I'm doing my worst job because my kids let me know it. When I'm on the phone or trying to sneak in a quick email check during the day - they act out and try to get my attention.

And I know I'm doing my worst job when I'm less than patient or get frustrated by little-kid messes. (Usually when I haven't had enough sleep.)

And I feel like I'm doing my worst job when the house isn't clean, and the laundry hasn't been put away. Even though I know those things don't matter as much as spending time with the kids, I feel like a better mom when I have a clean house (and clean clothes).

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
Every single thing surprised me. I wanted to be a mom so badly, but I never really went down the path of what that would mean. I was shocked when Miles was born (early), and I had to feed him every two hours, 24/7 for the first five weeks of his life.

I was also surprised when I started staying home with my kids full-time. I had a picture in my mind of my husband coming home every night to a spotless house, the kids playing quietly and me in the kitchen preparing some fabulous dinner that we would all sit down and eat together. Not a chance! The house is messier than it has ever been, thanks to my messy little kids. I rarely have dinner planned when Matt gets home from work, and playing quietly? Not my kids! And although it's not what I expected, I'm absolutely loving it!

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
First - we eat something. My kids' meltdowns are almost always caused by hunger (or lack of sleep). After eating, we usually try to go outside. If that's not possible, then we read books or get out the craft bag. I keep it stocked with stickers, paper, glue, safety scissors, bingo dotters and other fun, crafty stuff - the kids love it. We listen to music or sometimes we just pile into the minivan and drive around for awhile. When all else fails, we watch Mickey Mouse.

What have your children taught you?
They've taught me that I don't need as much sleep as I once thought I did. They've taught me to slow down. And they've shown me what a wonderful father my husband is.

I love watching him interact with the kids. The first thing he does when he comes home after a long day at work is sit down on the family room floor and let the kids crawl all over him and they tell each other about their days. I love seeing my husband as a father!

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
I will miss their unending energy and enthusiasm. I'll miss being able to make them laugh all the time. I'll miss waking up to little faces peering over my mattress. I'll miss having two cribs in the house. I'll miss stroller walks and bedtime snuggles. I think I'll miss pretty much everything - but I know there will be great times when they're older too... right?

You can follow Anna and her family at her blog: www.mylifeandkids.com

Mom Feature: Meet Kelly

Meet Kelly

I'm a Southern girl who is so thankful for my life. All I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother, and I had to wait until I was 35 to get both and I feel so blessed. I have a great husband and two beautiful little girls. I love SEC football, reality TV, Sonic vanilla diet cokes, big bows and smocked dresses, and laughing with friends. My biggest passion is my faith and relationship with Jesus Christ.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I feel like I'm doing my best job when we have a good day with a lot of smiles and few meltdowns, when we have fun and laugh and my daughter says "Thank you" and smiles a lot.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
Almost every day. Ha! Discipline is hard, and when my two year old acts out and says "NO!" and throws tantrums in public - I feel like a complete mess of a mom. I'm quick to lose my patience daily and that REALLY makes me feel terrible.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
How hard it is. I waited a long time to be a mom, so I used to day dream about how wonderful it would be and how clean my house would be because I would have so much free time as a stay at home mom. I never knew how physically exhausting it could be. I also never know how WONDERFUL it would be or how much I could love my children.

What is your go-to activity when you know a meltdown is coming?
This is probably not the best answer - but I'm big on distractions. So videos or games on my iPhone usually keep Harper from having meltdowns. That or snacks. Ha!

What have your children taught you?
They have taught me patience. They have also taught me to put myself last and to put their needs way above mine. They have taught me unconditional love.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
I will miss the snuggles. I will miss holding them in my arms, and the joy of hearing them say "I love you" and knowing they think I'm the greatest thing. I feel pretty sure as teenagers they may not feel the same way. I will miss watching them discover new things, and seeing the excitement in their eyes over everything.

You can follow Kelly and her family at her blog: www.kellyskornerblog.com

Mom Feature: Meet Justine

Meet Justine Binkowski

Hi! I'm Justine. I'm a stay at home mama to my 2-1/2 year-old son, Logan. Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, I was a special education teacher and then a fourth grade teacher. I really liked teaching, but being a mom is where it is at (at least for me).

My husband and I have been married for five years, but together for 10. We started dating when I was 18, however, we were in the same kindergarten class together. He moved away and we met again as teenagers. We also share our home with two cats who are adored and spoiled by all members of the family. They are rescues from the Humane Society.

My blog, You'll Thank Me One Day, is mostly is about my little guy and the activities that we do during the week. In my blog, you will find some crafts. We also do a great deal of open-ended art activities. I also am starting to create play centers, and I am beginning to start alphabet themes. I also include some stories about experiences in Logan's life and the funny things that he does or says.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I truly love being a mother. It makes me so happy when I see Logan happy, learning, laughing and thriving. I try very hard to provide a loving and safe environment where he can discover, learn, and play. I think that children learn through play and real life experiences so when I am encouraging him in those things, I feel like I am doing my best job as a mom.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
I feel I am doing my worst job when I am letting outside stress or anxiety influence me. Sometimes my preoccupation does not allow for me to be as actively engaged as I would like to be. It is during these times that I feel as though I can become more easily frustrated with behavior that I know is often developmentally appropriate. I am definitely mindful of those times and am working hard to insulate our relationship from moments like that, but it is not always easy.

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
Before having kids I would imagine my hypothetical children. I used to think things like, "When I have kids, I'm never going to....." or "my kids will never......." I am just grateful that I didn't share these feelings out loud (often).

Looking back now, I see how unbelievably ignorant (and kind of obnoxious) I was with my imagined view of parenthood and children. I just had no idea what it was like to have kids, even though I was a teacher and had been attending school to learn all about them. Everything changed once I actually had a child. I didn't understand how much one little person could change your world and your heart in just a matter of moments. My sweet little guy may watch television sometimes and occasionally cry in restaurants, but he completely eclipses my hypothetical perfect children.

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way?
I have a few. Sensory bins are a big hit in our house. They seem to have magic calming effects. Occasionally, I will break out the paint. My son is a painting fanatic. He can't get enough. Finally, if he just isn't having any of that, there are always bubbles..... that I blow inside the house. Shhhhh..... don't tell my husband!

What has your son taught you?
I have learned so much! One big thing that my son has taught me is to take time and cherish the little things. We, as big people, often take for granted  things that do not go unnoticed by children. Now I stop and relish the little things like a gorgeous flower in my garden, my favorite song on the radio, or how stinking adorable kids in footie pajamas are (add some bedhead and my heart melts even more).

What will you miss the most about these years with a young child?
I'm going to miss all those little moments. I'll miss the way my son will run up to me and wrap his arms around my legs. I'll miss the request to read another story before bedtime, and the splashes in the bathtub. I'll miss the silliness and the snuggles. I try to soak up every minute.

You can follow Justine and her family on her blog: http://youllthankmeoneday.blogspot.com/

Mom Feature: Meet Daysha

Meet Daysha Behymer

I am Daysha Behymer. I have the very big privilege to be the stay-at-home-momma to Lyndon, 3, and Denton, now 4 months (born Feb. '11). Both of my boys were born prematurely. Of course that was not our plan, but we hold on to the truth that it was God's plan for them. Due to their prematurity we have become involved with The March of Dimes, a wonderful organization who exists to help prevent premature births.

In August I will have been married to my best friend for seven years. I graduated from the University of Oklahoma, and I am so lucky to have married a guy who loves OU football as much as I do. One of my very favorite things to do with my husband is go to OU football games. My blog is Behymer Business at http://behymerbusiness.blogspot.com/.

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?
I am going to say that I feel like I have "done" my best as a mom is when I see my oldest son practicing something we've been working on. For example: when he shares his toys with others with a cheerful heart. Another moment is when he is asked to do something/not to do something and he obeys right away - what we call obeying first time. In both of those situations I have a feeling of accomplishment, what we've been working on is actually clicking with him.

I feel like I'm "doing" my best as a mom when it's a difficult moment with behavior and I am able to have patience and self control and address the heart issue - not just the chosen behavior. Patience is the key in these moments. I don't want to be a mom calling out commands and saying "don't do that." I want to mold my children's hearts. But in the moment of disobedience and frustration, that can be hard. It requires me getting my strength from God to be the mom I want to be. So when I am able to do this, I feel like I'm doing my best job.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?
Going hand in hand with when I feel I'm being my best, I feel I'm doing my worst when I am inpatient, short and unkind to my son. I feel as if that isn't helping the disobedient behavior in the long run when I can't calmly address it and speak to his heart of why that action was not obedient. 

What surprised you the most about motherhood?
One quickly comes to mind -  the temptation to compare your kid to other kids, and now comparing my two as well. In normal conversations between mommies you talk about what your kiddo is doing, etc. The moment you hear of another kid, who's your kid's same age, doing something that yours isn't doing yet can make you feel like something is wrong, or you've already failed. I think I would have been prepared for this struggle during school age/teenage years but I wasn't prepared for this struggle at the infant age.

What is your go-to activity when a meltdown is on its way?
The activity I turn to for me is PRAYER!!  It's the best thing I've got. And unfortunately I don't go to it often or soon enough. In the moments when I feel like I'm in the downward spiral, I've got to stop and pray for patience, wisdom, self control and kindness. It's no coincidence that the things we want our children to have is what we need as well.

Since bringing home our newborn, I have to be honest and say that my go to activity for my son, once the chaos had already broken loose, is TV. I know it's a season for us so I need to give myself some slack, but I don't like that being my source. But it's true.  In moments when I have it more together, when chaos is about to break loose (or already has) for my son, timeout is the activity I choose. I feel it gives my son a moment to get self control, have to be away from any so-called fun and hopefully/eventually think about the choice he made that resulted in timeout. Also, the timeout is another go-to for me to gather myself as well.

What have your children taught you?
Joy for sure. I tell ya, this little boy of mine is full of joy. I've learned from him how to have joy even in what looks like unjoyful moments. Which we all know there are many of those in our lives today. So being able to live a life with joy is a life worth living in my book.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?
Oh gosh I don't even want to go there. Seriously, I don't know if I can even answer this question. Being that I am a mother of small children at this time, I have to say I will miss all of this. Every bit of what my days consist of right now I think I will miss. Gosh, I know I will even miss the tough discipline moments, because these are moments they still need me and I can still direct them before major bad choices are made. Come on, please tell me they will always be young children, come on.

You can follow Daysha and her family on her blog: http://behymerbusiness.blogspot.com/.

Mom Feature: Meet Amanda

Meet Amanda Yocum.

Hi, I'm Amanda. I'm a 31-year-old, stay-at-home mom who loves to sew, cook, and relax with family and friends. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for seven. We met at Baylor University.

We have two boys - James is 2 1/2 and Patrick is 9 months. I was a third grade teacher and loved it, but being a mother and wife is my passion.

In all my free time (yeah, right), I write a blog: My Mommies Favorite Finds. I started writing this blog for my friends, so that I didn't have to email them 1,000 times a day about my favorite finds.

I am a busy stay-at-home mom, and I would not change it for the world!

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?

When I can see my children learning, using good manners and giving hugs and kisses. When stress has not come over me. At the end of the day when they are safe tucked in their bed with smiles.

I try not to say no without a reason, like why say no to rolling down the car window or why not eat your snack in a the den on the floor and have your food in a toy truck?  Or why not drink your milk with a silly straw? I like the silly.

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?

When I have said "yes" to everything but my family. I have a hard time saying no, if it is sewing, Facebook, watching TV, helping friends or family.

I feel like I'm doing my worst job as a mom when at the end of the day, I think, "hmmm... I should have played on the floor more or closed the laptop."

What surprised you the most about motherhood?

The instant love that I had for my children - and now understanding the love my parents have for me. I was also surprised at what hard work it is to be a stay-at-home mom. I was not warned about the 2.5/3 year-old age -  wow it is a doozy!

What is your go-to activity when kids are melting down around you?

We love playing with uncooked rice and noodles, going in the backyard and playing with the hose, playing in the water/sand table. Patrick loves using his walker outside and loves to watch James do anything and everything. And, to be totally honest, when all else fails, I turn on Yo Gabba Gabba.

What have your children taught you?

Patience. Unconditional love no matter what I look like, no matter how horrible my singing voice.... And they think I am beautiful and hysterical, ha!! They remind me to laugh.

What will you miss the most about these years with young children?

I will miss the "nuggle nuggle" snuggles, the way they look at their daddy, the "hold you, hold you" "prayers one more time" the giggle monsters, morning cartoon time in the "big bed".

You can follow Amanda and her family on her blog: http://mymommiesfavoritefinds-yocumotion.blogspot.com/

Mom Feature: Meet Melanie

Meet Melanie Hansbauer

Hi, I'm Melanie. I'm a stay-at-home mom to three children under 4 and no, I'm not crazy. Our children are Greta (age 3 and a half), Otto (age 2) and Selma (3 months). Before we had kids, I taught at a Montessori school for six years and did home visitation with first-time moms for two years. Currently I am an adjunct professor at Xavier University in their Montessori education program.

We live in Newport, KY.  And even though sometimes I get envious of my friends' finished basements and sprawling backyards, and even though sometimes I get frustrated by our 100-year-old house and all its aches and pains, I love living in an urban setting. We can walk to local pizza places and local ice cream shops. We can take a stroller ride to the Reds game or the purple people bridge. 

What else? I'm married to my high school sweetheart. We started dating when I was 14 and he was 16, and the rest is history. 

When do you feel like you're doing your best job as a mom?

I think I'm doing my best job as a mom when it's 8 pm and everyone's asleep. Just kidding.

One really big part of the the Montessori philosophy is remembering to 'follow the child'. For instance, when Otto was about 15 months old, all he wanted to do was climb up and down the stairs. Literally.....all.he.wanted.to.do. So I told myself that there must be something within him, some sort of inner drive that he needed to fulfill. I needed to recognize that this was a skill he was working on right now, and rather than fight it (which I wanted to), it would serve us both to just go with it and help him on the stairs. Not only did it help him learn to maneuver the stairs more quickly, but I think it moved him through the phase of wanting to be on the stairs because it went from being off limits to something that was encouraged (and therefore not as much fun).

Or when Greta was around 2 and a half and she wanted to spend every moment upstairs in her room, changing in and out of clothes like a teenager getting ready for her first date. I decided to think of it as her 'needing' to change her clothes. She was definitely working on the skills of getting dressed and undressed by herself and what better way to work on that than to change your clothes 10 times a day? 

I realize that this idea of following the child isn't always possible, but it's definitely when I feel I'm at my best.  When I look at my children - really look - and really listen to not only their words but their actions and the meaning behind them. 

You knew this one was coming... when do you feel like you're doing your worst job?

When life gets in the way and that idea of 'follow the child' becomes impossible, or at least starts to feel impossible. When I say things like, "let's not get that toy out right now" because it's too much trouble to put away. When someone spills their drink for the third time at lunch, and I roll my eyes and sigh with exasperation instead of just laughing it off. 

I feel like I'm at my worst when I let worries and stresses from other aspects of life spill over into how I treat my children. If I'm worried about a commitment I have in the evening, sometimes I am distracted all day long and find myself being short with them or more easily frustrated. 

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I can FEEL that it's going to be an off day, for whatever reason.  And on those days, I lay in bed for a minute and think to myself, "I will make this a good day for my children". I think this over and over. I think about the day and about activities we can do or things I can say or not say to change the course. I try to WILL the day to be a good one.  It doesn't always work, but sometimes it helps me get in the right state of mind. 

What surprised you the most about motherhood?

What hard work it is. Am I right?  Being a mother is so rewarding, but man is it exhausting.

I think right now I'm finding it hard to balance motherhood with other aspects of my life, and that's definitely something that no one told me would happen. It's hard to find time to go to the gym or have dinner with friends or read a good book. Sometimes it's difficult to find time to shower or even go to the bathroom. I never really thought about what would happen to the rest of me when I became a mom. That said, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I get comments all the time about how crazy I must be for having three children so close in age, but I feel so very blessed.

What is your go-to activity when kids are melting down around you?

An all-out dance party. Nothing breaks the mood more than turning music up loud and shaking it - all parties included. By the time you boogie to a few songs, everyone forgets what was about to cause that tantrum in the first place.

Also, with my kids, it's almost always being hungry or tired that causes those meltdowns. So sometimes we just need a snack, even if it's 30 minutes before dinnertime. Or a little rest on the couch or in our beds, even if we just got up.

Going outside, playing in water and playing with playdoh are also some good meltdown-avoiders for our family. 

What have your children taught you?

Not to be so caught up in what other people think. 

Like it or not, oftentimes I'm someone who gets worried about what other people think. Is my house clean when someone stops by? Should I wear my workout clothes to the library again? etc etc. Truth is, my kids don't care about any of those things. Truth is, they think I'm awesome. They don't mind if the toilet needs scrubbed or if I need to comb my hair or any of that stuff.

Okay fine, Greta told me the other night that I "smelled sweaty", but most of the time they think I hung the moon. And if they think so highly of me, then I should think highly of myself as well. 
 
What will you miss the most about these years with young children?

I think I'll miss all those moments that seem so small and so mundane... brushing clean hair after a bath, reading that last book before bed, holding their hand on a neighborhood walk. I'm so excited to watch our children grow and to see who they will become. Our neighbor was sitting outside the other evening with her grown son, just having dinner and talking and laughing. I know that will be really special too, but it's the tiny moments of their childhood that I think I'll miss.

You can follow Melanie and her family on her blog: www.hansbauerbaby.blogspot.com